Fast forward three years.
Earl did in fact break that intern, and the next 17 interns after.
He was getting bored of the whole ordeal, and Gerard was still ignoring him. ALMOST THREE WHOLE YEARS WITHOUT A SINGLE FUCKING TWEET. Gerard could tweet random fucking pictures of irrelevant and LITERAL GARBAGE but he couldn't spend one second on Earl? Things had to change. Earl had to change.
After Gerard's nightly google search for disturbing images, Earl slithered a vine over to Gee's computer to once again feed his Miracle Grow addiction. Unknown to Earl, Miracle Grow was auto corrected to 'mean girls', accelerating Earl's journey back into Gee's good graces.
The next morning Gee awoke to images of Lindsey Lohan, inspiring him to drop acid and tweet. While on the acid trip Earl approached Gee with his vines, caressing his caretaker's genitalia without Gee taking notice. Gerard was soon rock solid and very close. He did something he had never done before, he screamed Earl's name.
"FUCK, EARL, FUCK ME HARDER EARL."
Earl slid a single vine into Gee, and Gerard started to shake. He slowly pushed the vine in and out, in and out. As Gerard started to finish he was interrupted by his newest intern, Paul. Paul stood and stared in wonder as the plant violated his only hero in this world, Gerard Way.
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Earl, the office plant
FanfictionEarl was not just an ordinary plant. He was an office plant. Gerard Way's office plant.
