How to Think Like a Computer

May 7

At lunch today I did algebra with Cecil, which was fun, even though he liked to use a different method. I like algebra because it's very neat and simple, if you follow all the rules.

Ten minutes before lunch was over, I heard some girls screaming and laughing. I went over to see what they were doing. It's odd when people are laughing and screaming at the same time, because they imply entirely opposite emotions.

Mia and Latisha (the girls) were staring at a holographic computer screen. I think they were on a social media site.

"Oh my god!" Latisha cried. "You've been got by a bot!"

The word "bot" got my attention. I went over to stand behind them. It was not a social media site; it was a dating site. I don't think dating sites are a good idea.

"I swear, I thought it was a hot boy!" whispered Mia.

"A bot?" I inquired quietly. The two girls turned to look at me. I don't know what emotions their expressions conveyed, but I didn't like it.

"Turns out," Mia said slowly, "that this boy I was dating on Duo was actually a freaking robot!"

I said: "Why is that bad?" because I would much rather talk to a robot on a website than an actual human.

Mia said: "Well, because!"

I said: "Because why?"

Mia swore and shook her head. "God. Don't ask me."

I had no idea what she meant, so I asked Latisha.

Latisha said: "Well, it's a robot, you know!"

I said: "I like robots."

They both turned away from me, so I walked away from them. Then lunch ended, and we all went inside.

*

Mom couldn't pick me up after school, so I had to wait thirty-four minutes for my dad to come. I took out my computer and coded for most of the time. I was working on my Java++ program that had failed the day before. Sixteen minutes after school ended, I noticed a man was watching me. He had been standing behind me, so I hadn't noticed him before.

The man looked like he was about thirty, and he had light brown hair. He smiled when I turned around to glare at him, which was probably a good sign. If he had been spying on me, he wouldn't have made it so apparent that he had noticed me.

"Hi," he said.

I said nothing.

He said: "I'm Cam." Then he paused. "I'm the computer science teacher."

Then I was interested.

I said: "We have computer science?"

He said: "It's an after-school program, and only for tenth through twelfth graders. But I notice you're doing some coding on your own. Is that JavaScript-5?"

"No, it's Java++."

Cam whistled, then grinned. "Java++! You're a ninth grader; I didn't know someone taught that!"

"I taught myself."

"Really!"

"Are you impressed?" I asked, because I think he was impressed, but I can never be sure.

"Very," he told me. "Java++ is a hard language. I only teach HTML8 and a bit of Jumble."

"Those are easy," I said.

"They're good beginning languages."

"Yes."

Cam asked: "What's your name?"

"Torrin."

"You're a very interesting person, Torrin."

"Why?" I asked, because no one had told me this before.

"Well, you taught yourself Java++. That's very unusual. And there's something about the way you speak...." He shrugged.

I said: "I have Asperger's Syndrome. That may account for my unusual speech patterns."

He raised his eyebrows, which meant he was surprised, I think. "You do?"

"Yes."

Then he grinned. "Huh. I suppose you do. Well, it was nice to meet you, Torrin."

Cam started to walk away, but I called out to him: "Do you know the programming language Parse?"

He frowned, and stopped walking. "I don't think you really should be asking that, Torrin."

"Why not?"

"You know the Luddites have called Parse a 'banned language'."

I asked: "But do you know it?"

Cam came back over to me. He looked like people do when they're very serious. "Why do you want to know?"

"I know Parse."

He jumped, and whispered, "What??"

I said: "I know Parse. Do you?"

"Yes, I do," he said quietly, looking around as if someone might be listening.

I smiled, because I have never met someone else who knows the language Parse. Whenever I mention it, they tell me to "shut my pie-hole in case there are any Luddites around".

"I'm making a chatbot in Parse," I told him, "and I need help."

"You know that's probably illegal, right?"

"I don't care. I hate the Luddites."

"Well... I do too," Cam admitted.

"Can you help me?" I asked.

He sighed. "I'm making no promises, Torrin. I'll try. My office is in the main building; you can just ask someone for Cameron Haskell. But now I've really gotta go."

Cam walked away, quickly. Then I saw that my dad was there, so I went into the maglev.

I think I've finally made a friend.