How to Think Like a Computer

May 8

I found out a very important piece of information today.

On the Ambinet, there is an anonymous group called Singularity Prime. Their main focus is trying to kick Ian Caulkins out of power. This is obviously a prospect that excites me a lot. They also care about artificial intelligence. When I finish my chatbot, I'll make sure to show it to them.

I tried to join Singularity Prime's Ambinet group, but it seems like only users with a special code can enter. Then I tried to hack in, but couldn't. I expect that the founders of Singularity Prime are very good at computer programming.

Anyways, even if I can't directly contact them right now, Singularity Prime could be good back-up if the Luddites ever find out about my chatbot.

*

At school we started a chemistry unit. It was fun. I didn't like the experiments as much as my classmates did, but I liked the equations and how all the atoms that were on the first side of the equation was also on the other side, just put in a different order. I like it when the world has patterns like that.

At lunch, I went to see Cam. He was in his office, and I think I surprised him when I came in with my computer.

"Hello," he said.

I said: "Can you help me with my Parse chatbot?"

I put my computer on the table, unfolded the keyboard, and activated its holographic screen. Then I showed him the code. He scrolled through the first hundred lines, then sighed and said, "Torrin. Do you know what you are making?"

"I'm making a chatbot."

"You're making an intelligent chatbot. At least, more intelligent than the chatbots that have been created recently."

I told him crossly, "That's my objective."

Cam said: "The Luddites aren't going to like that."

I said I didn't care.

He said: "I don't want you to get in trouble."

I said: "I won't let the Luddites get it. I know how to encrypt the file so that only I can see it or make any changes."

"There are ways to override that decryption."

I thought of my attempts to hack Singularity Prime, but didn't say anything. Cam scrolled through more of my code. As he read, his eyebrows rose higher and higher.

"Gosh, Torrin... this is good."

"I've known Parse for two years."

"And how long did it take you to learn?"

"Approximately a year."

He whistled, which again meant he was impressed. "I learned Parse five years ago, before the Luddites declared it 'banned'. Took me three years to learn. And you taught yourself...." He shook his head. "How do you do it?"

"Parse makes sense," I said.

Cam said: "But it's complicated."

I said: "It's elegant."

He nodded. "I suppose it is."

I told him: "I'm good at programming because I'm a math savant."

"Whoa!" He raised his eyebrows. "No wonder!"

I scrolled down to the last lines of code. "Here is my problem."

Cam frowned, then suddenly smiled. "I had this same problem when I was first learning Parse! Of course, I've never attempted something as complex as your project, but I know how to fix this...."

We spent the rest of lunch working on my program. I got a lot of it done, with Cam's help.

Strangely, it isn't so bad to talk to Cam. He told me about himself. He is thirty-six years old, and was born in Seattle, Washington. He has an older sister called Erika, and a boyfriend called Kyle. When he's not programming computers or teaching people how to program computers, he likes to hike, paint, and watch Star Trek.

When he asked me to tell him some things about myself, I said the same thing I always say when asked that sort of question, which is, "I really like computers, and math, and science. I don't like talking to people, and I don't like sandwiches, or flip-flops, or dogs, or when other people cry. My Meyers-Briggs type is INTJ, and I know five programming languages, and I'm an atheist, and my favorite book is I, Robot by Isaac Asimov."

He laughed and said, "Okay, then," which I took to be a good thing.

Then it was the end of lunch, so I went back to my classroom. We were doing math next, so I was happy.

*

I'm reading a book called Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? It's by Philip K. Dick, and it's about a future in which rogue androids have to be hunted down and destroyed. But the main character, who is one of these bounty hunters, realizes that the androids don't want to be killed. I wish it were like that now. But if the Luddites find a computer that is sentient so it doesn't want to be killed, they will destroy it even faster.