Not Afraid of the Dark ~ A Loki Fanfic

Part One: Stormfront

Loki's eyes were shut against the storm, but he couldn't keep out the incessant pounding of the rain in his ears. Lightning struck and the light flashed dully against his eyelids. Then--he threw the blanket over his head and covered his ears--the thunder.

Like a mad wolf.

Like a dragon in pain.

Like the world falling down around him.

Fear clawed at Loki's stomach, a vicious and unfeeling beast. His hand shook against the sheets.

When he could stand it no longer, he picked up his favorite blanket and ran out of his room and down the hall as though the Frost Giants were after him. The blanket flew after him like a lonely ghost.

Loki came to an ornately carved wooden door and knocked. "Thor? Are you awake?"

No answer. He waited a moment longer, then pushed the door in as another growl of thunder shook the ground.

Thor was asleep, blissfully unaware of Loki's fears, a slight smile tilting the corners of his lips. Loki pattered cautiously in and shook his shoulder timidly.

"Thor? I can't sleep."

Thor shoved him off vaguely but not ungently. 

"Go 'way, Loki. Trying to sleep."

Loki whimpered. He'd have to go back, back to his room and the dark and the awful thunder. He closed his eyes, almost wishing tears to come. The blanket trailed back behind him, looking even more pathetic than before. Loki climbed into bed and wrapped it tightly around himself, shivering despite the warm summer night. He'd have to wait it out. Another sleepless night for him.

~

Frigga woke suddenly. The rain pattering against the window must've started during the night; there had been no storm that evening. She lay back against the pillows, enjoying the tuneless lullaby of the rain's heartbeat. It must've been the thunder that had woken her; it seemed to be a particularly bad storm. That was all right. they could do with some water. It had been quite dry recently.

Lightning sliced the sky apart and Frigga sat up, agitated. The boys--in this storm--they must be terrified--

She slipped out from under the sheets carefully, trying not to wake Odin. She paused just a moment to ensure he was snoring peacefully. She didn't even stop to put on a dressing gown before flying down the hall to Thor's room.

The little angel was breathing steadily, sandy blond hair splayed across the pillow. As she watched, he snuggled deeper into his sheets and mumbled in contentment.

Frigga smiled, and proceeded more calmly to Loki's room. The boys were 7 and 6 now, old enough to sleep right through. She didn't know why she'd been so worried. Perhaps because it was the first thunderstorm of the season, and the boys had gone nearly a year without one...

Frigga   pushed open the door to Loki's room and heard an audible gasp.

"M-mother? Is that you?"

He sat huddled in a heap of blankets, shaking visibly, biting his lip in agitation. He was an absolute picture of pity.

Frigga couldn't help but run to him and gather him in her arms.

"Yes, precious, of course it is."

"I-I just wanted to be sure."

She felt him shudder, felt him make the effort to stop shivering and calm himself.

"Honey..." She took his face gently into her hands so she could see his eyes and smoothed back his sweaty black hair. "What's wrong?"

Loki took one shaky breath, then another. A third. Frigga waited patiently, stroking his hair, her face a mask of calm. Inwardly, her thoughts swirled like the wind outside. What could possibly have happened to make him so scared? Loki was a calm child, mature for his age, and usually was not prone to outbursts of any sort. What had gotten into him?

"Mother...Mama...the storm." He clung to her, fingers curled tightly.

"Yes, Loki. The storm."

"I-I..." He hiccuped. His eyes closed wearily. "Do you feel sick?" Frigga asked gently.

"Yes, mother. Like-like-" he hugged himself, too overwhelmed to continue.

"Like something heavy-is on top of me-right here." He placed her hand over his stomach and chest. "And it won't come off."

Frigga didn't bother to check his temperature. This was clearly an anxiety problem, not one to be truly solved by medication. His heartbeat came sudden and quick through his nightshirt, but it was slowing gradually.

Loki shuddered and wrapped his arms around her again. Tears spilled down his face, dampening Frigga's nightgown. He was quiet now, calming. Outside, the storm was doing the same.

After crying for a good 10 minutes, he looked up at her again.

"Mother...do you remember when I used to sleep in your room?"

"Yes, precious. I do." It had only been about a month ago that Loki had regularly curled up on the floor of their room or in their bed ten minutes after lights out like clockwork. she had wondered why he'd stopped so abruptly. Perhaps she was about to find out.

"A little while ago I came into your room and started to go to sleep, but father saw me." Frigga nodded. Odin wasn't too keen on allowing Loki to sleep in their room. He insisted upon independence being best for the boy. She had convinced him to  be a bit softer on Loki, though, because of his past. He had reluctantly agreed.

"Father saw me and he said..." Loki closed his eyes, remembering. "He said, 'Loki, you can stay here tonight...but remember...' " He swallowed. " 'Remember that one day you won't have any of us...me or your mother or Thor...and you have to know how to cope with that.' " He looked at Frigga, huge green eyes stretched wide. "I didn't know we had to--to die, mother. I thought that was only animals and mortals--" Loki clutched suddenly at Frigga as though she might disappear at any moment. She thought he was finished speaking, but then a muffled voice around her midriff whispered, "Whenever I hear the thunder...I feel like it's going to take you away from me. All of you."