CHANCES | HVC

09.

part nine,
23:31- ;

It took Hansol exactly fifteen minutes to arrive at Joshua's mansion. He barged through the door in his same grey track pants and a navy blue sweatshirt, looking like he literally rolled out of bed to fetch me.

He stormed over to the couch where Woozi and I still sat, laughing at the most random of things you could think of. Grabbing my arm he pulled me up softly, trying to keep me balanced in my drunken state. Although he didn't succeed and my first steps drunk had my falling into his arms.

"Your hero has come Hana! I'll see you later" Woozi giggles as a tired Hansol pulls me up right to look into my eyes, hands on my shoulders holding me in place. The last I saw of Woozi for the night was when he sat up and buried himself in the crowded dance floor. Hansol shakes me slightly in front of him, making me turn my head to look him in the eyes.

"What have you done to yourself Hana" Hansol sighs, the tone of his voice made me feel bad for him, he come all the way to Joshua's just to fetch me. The bags under his eyes were significantly larger and his hair was still a mess. He placed a hand on the small of my back and pulled me through the crowd to the front yard.

It was in the front yard were I couldn't hold back anymore, running over to Joshua's bushes I emptied my stomach. I felt the presence of Hansol when he held back my hair and rubbed my back soothingly. When I was finished I sunk to my knees as I felt tears well up in my eyes, suddenly feeling slightly more sober.

Hansol kneeled down next to me, grabbing me in his arms as I buried my face into his chest, a few stray tears escaped as I clutched on to his sweatshirt.

"This isn't you Hana, why did you do this?" He asks softly, flattening down my hair as the tears started to pour. It was then when I realized that getting drunk wasn't the solution to everything, and just how stupid my decision tonight was. I didn't like how I was feeling at this moment and I didn't want to feel it again. I just shook my head and brought my eyes up to look at Hansol, I probably looked like a mess with my hair tangled and mascara running down my cheeks. Hansol looked down on me with a small disappointed frown on his face, eyes worried as he brought his thumb up to wipe away the last of my tears, we stayed silent for who knows how long before he muttered a small, "c'mon I'll take you home."

He helped me stand up, wrapping an arm around my waist to keep my weak body steady as we made our way to his car. I instantly sunk into the leather passenger seat, resting my head on the window trying to calm down my headache. Hansol turned on the car, looking over at me worriedly as I held my head.

"Please don't take me home Hansol." I finally found my slurred croaky voice as he shot me a sympathetic look. He started the car and turned the opposite direction of my house.

"I wouldn't do that, besides how would you have gotten up that tree?" He tries to lighten the mood with a soft chuckle, his words making a small smile appear on my face. We sat in a comfortable silence for around fifteen minutes, I kept my eyes focused on outside, counting the stars in the sky as the moon beamed bright. We pulled up outside a small apartment complex, there Hansol got out of the car and walked around to my side, helping me up as he guided me to the lift. Hansol lived on the fourth and top floor, his arm never leaving my waist as he opened the door and helped me stumble inside. From the small amount of time from the party to his apartment I had sobered up, although not fully. He didn't turn on the light as he placed his keys on the kitchen island, the crisp marble and white walls shining in the moonlight.

"The bathroom is the first door on the left, I'll leave some towels and pajamas outside the door" he takes his arm off of me and I instantly feel cold without his warm touch, I silently nod and make my way to the shower. The warm water refreshes me as the pounding in my head intensifies. After a while I step out into the steamy bathroom, putting on the large orange sweatshirt he left for me, I instantly notice that it was the sweatshirt he wore the first time he tutored me. Running my fingers through my mattered hair, trying my best to untangle it I walk down the hallway to find Hansol sitting on the couch, staring out the window. When he hears my movement he slowly turns to face me, the light of the moon reflecting off the side of his face.

"Are you tired, it's two am" he speaks softly, patting the seat next to him as I sit down.

"Yeah a bit" I cringe at the tone of my voice, croaky and stiff. Hansol stands up from the couch, extending his hand as I gladly take it. He leads me back down the corridor, opening his door as he leads me inside, sitting on the bed. The room is dark, the only bit of light peeking through the window was the dark night.

"Why did I do this Hansol" I sit cross legged under the covers, bringing my hands up to wipe my eyes as I feel tears welling up. The brunette lifts me up into his lap, as I start to cry again, the touch of his hand running through my hair as one rests on my hair thigh rubbing small circles. In this moment it feels like I've known Hansol for ages, even though I have only known him for a month. It was hard to get in my mind the way he was treating me, it didn't feel rushed, it felt normal and comfortable.

"It's okay Hana, everyone makes mistakes." He whispers in my ear as he rests his chin on top of my head. It was in that moment when I realized how close I was to this boy, sitting on his lap as his arms draped around me, my fists holding onto his shirt. I could hear his heart beating through his shirt as he rubbed soothing circles on the small of my back, he was warm and I found myself liking the intimacy.

When the tears slowly stated to subside I moved my head out from under Hansols, looking up at him as he stared down at me.

"I remember why I did it all, I was trying to forget" I muttered quietly, his hand movements stilled as he bit his lip, taking a glance at my lips so quickly I barely noticed.

"What were you trying to forget?" He asked just above a whisper. I looked down at his shirt, seeming to suddenly find the stray stands  interesting as the blush crept up my neck.

"The way you made me feel" his breath caught in his throat at my words, it was silent for a few moments after that. I closed my eyes, hoping that the world would swallow me up, my confession making the blood rush to my cheeks.

I heard Hansol gulp, then his fingers on my chin as he lightly pushed my head up to connect our eyes. In a blushing mess it seemed we had a conversation with our eyes, his clear hazel ones shining with the reflection of the moonlight. I got lost in his eyes, just wondering what they had seen and the way he was seeing me right now.

"Kiss me" he repeated his words from earlier in the day, my eyes widening instantly. This was the exact moment I wanted to forget, Hansol was my tutor and my father would disown me if he knew the situation I was in right now. But why was I not pulling away? I stayed still, battling my conscience for what was the right decision.

"Fuck it" I heard him mumble under his breath and in the spur of the moment his lips where on mine in a matter of seconds. I stilled at first, having not had this type of intimacy before. Hansol removed his hand from my chin and placed one on my waist as the other grabbed my cheek.

It was if something had clicked inside of me and I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed back. The kiss was sweet and gentle, not hungry and forced. My stomach buzzed with an unfamiliar feeling as he pushed me closer to him on his lap if that were even possible. We didn't go any further than just a simple sweet kiss, nothing more and nothing less.

We pulled apart after a little while, panting slightly. I bit my lip and got off his lap, leaning against the bed head. I stared ahead trying to process what on earth just happened. Hansol turned his head to the side and stared at the profile of my face, making the blush on my face even redder. He then let out a groan and ran his hands through his hair, pulling on it roughly.

"I did it again Hana, I put you in another uncomfortable situation. I'm sorry"  he ran his hands over his face as I laid down on the bed, snuggling up to the pillow and letting out a yawn.

"It's okay Hansol, let's just pretend that never happened." I repeated his words from earlier as I closed my eyes. Hansol laid down next to me, facing me as I stated to doze off. I could tell he was still awake by his uneven breathing but I chose to ignore it and fall into dream land. The best thing to do was to forget that it ever happened, us doing things like this brought nothing good to us. I was being a coward, trying to escape my problems pretending like it never happened, forgetting things with sleep when in reality, these problems had to be worked out.

"I don't want to pretend it never happened though" was the last I heard before everything went black.