I hate that feeling, that feeling when I'm sad and have no idea why, I feel so empty but nothing in particular happened! People ask me what's wrong, but I can't explain or they don't even ask anything, I don't know what's worse. It just feels like I miss someone I maybe have never met. Like I need someone who doesn't need me. The loneliness hovers over me, takes control over me, I don't even care anymore! I isolate myself on purpose, sadness has become my only friend. I hate myself and I want everyone to leave me alone but at the same time, I want someone to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. Everyday I get up and pretend I'm okay and that nothing is wrong, I do this so nobody asks the same question over and over again. I'm sometimes scared to say what I feel so I hide behind a smile but the truth is I am dying inside, I just want someone to care so much that they wouldn't want to lose me. When I say
"I'm fine" I'm really not, I want help! I say
"I'm just tired" I really can't take it anymore, or when I say
"Go away" please stay, I just need a hug! Or
"I'm okay" I really just want to die!
I give up with trying to fight how I feel because I know things will never get better, so what's the point?
They say Monsters sleep under our beds but really they are in my head! I don't understand why this has happened to me! Some people hate me but that's okay because I hate me too, I feel ashamed of my self because of the way I look, everyone would be better off without me! I sometimes... Most times feel trapped in a bubble and can't escape! I miss the old me... When I was happy and I always smiled or when I didn't care what people thought of me!
