send.

time bomb

     The dream that wakes you up doesn't scare you so much as unnerve you.
     It's an empty room, only you and Cass inside. She's wearing that expression, the same one she had when she looked at you after your nightmare in her apartment. A look of fear. You want to get away from her, horrified at the thought that you were capable of invoking that type of reaction in someone, only when you turn around, April is there. She looks just as fearful as her counterpart, eyes wide. You try to sidestep her but there is your mother, terror on her features. One more turn and you're face-to-face with a panicked teacher from school. Everywhere you look, there's no escaping it: one more person staring at you like you're a freak, a monster, a threat. You want to scream, breath ragged in your lungs, explain that you're not dangerous, not threatening, just a boy, just in need of help-
     You spin on your heel and slam into Jonathan's chest.
     Relieved, you lift your arms towards him, sighing.
     Your breath catches when he steps away from you.
     His name is on the tip of your tongue, but he holds his hands out defensively, stumbling further back.
     "Stay away." His voice doesn't sound the way it normally does when he speaks to you. It's tight, tense... Afraid. "Stay back. Don't come near me."
     "Jonathan," you whisper, reaching for him, stepping forward, but he only rushes back with more urgency.
     "Don't... Don't come any closer. You're a murderer."
     Your eyes open with a sharp inhale.
     Jon is still sleeping peacefully next to you, his hand resting on the middle of your chest, fingers curled loosely in your shirt. You slowly unfurl them, holding your breath, before sliding out of bed. You don't want to wake him, but you need to get out. Get some air. Clear your head.
     You take his sweatshirt from where he discarded it on your floor and shuffle towards the door. You open and close it silently, listening for a few moments to make sure he's still unconscious before heading outside.
     Despite the protection of warm boots, Jon's oversized shirt and your own pajama pants, it's quite cold outside. Your breath floats in front of you beneath the streetlights, clouds of white drifting upwards. You're not sure where you're heading, but you just want to be away, letting your feet take the lead while your mind wanders absently.
     They direct you towards the park, and you wind up wandering beneath the dead branches and over the crackling leaves. The path is only dimly illuminated by the lampposts spaced out along it, but it's peaceful. The cool air in your lungs wakes you up, refreshes your cluttered head. You feel alone, but it's a good kind of solitude. A safe one.
     Until you hear footsteps ahead of you.
     You didn't check the clock before you departed, and you'd left your phone on the bedside table, but you're sure it's much too late an hour for any reasonable person to be out wandering, especially in this weather. The thought of getting stabbed by some mugger or druggie in an empty park doesn't exactly appeal to you, your heart beginning to race. You squint, trying to make out the approaching figure.
     "Little late, don't you think?"
     The voice is familiar, making your eyes widen. Cass's image becomes clearer as she strolls up towards you, making your footsteps falter. She has a cigarette pinched between her middle and ring finger, her mascara smeared down her face as if she'd been crying. She's in nothing but jeans and a flannel. You can make out her body shivering.
     You don't want trouble, deciding it's best to ignore her and hurry home. Looking ahead, you move silently faster, picking up the pace a bit. Unfortunately, she falls into step beside you.
     "Dont ignore me, Sock." Her voice is hoarse and you cringe as she says your name. It sounds like nails down a chalkboard to you, raking along your spine. "I just wanna talk. I think things got out of hand back there... I didn't mean it like that."
You don't believe her for a second. People get honest when they're angry. Even if it wasn't what she intended to say, it was what she really thought of you. You keep silent. That pisses her off.
"You know April fought with me after you two left? Said I was 'judging you too harshly' or some shit." She makes exaggerated air quotes when she says that, snorting. There's a hint of sadness beneath her tone. "As if. I wanted to be friends. I wanted to be nice even after I saw all of the shit you did. I wanted to protect him."
She catches your attention there, but you try to keep your expression even. Your hands clench into fists in your pockets as she chuckles.
"You're dangerous. I know you know it. You're afraid of hurting him, but you're too selfish to let him go. You're a ticking time bomb, kid, waiting to go off-"
She gasps when you whip around, backing her into a tree, leaning in her face.
"Why don't you shut the fuck up?"
There's fear in her eyes now, but something in the back of you rears up, something sick, and it eats that horror right up, flames licking furiously at your self-control. She swallows hard, her voice shaky as she tries to sound confident.
"Why don't you leave him alone? It's the only way to keep him safe."
"Safe from what?"
"From you!"
"I'm not a threat," you growl, coming dangerously close to snapping as you turn away, face in your hands. "I'm not. I'm not dangerous, I'm not a monster. That's not me. They're just dreams. They're nothing real, they're..."
"They're not real yet, but they could
be. They will be, if you don't leave him alone," she says, stepping closer, gaining courage. "One day, you're going to-"
"Shut up!" you roar, blind with rage as you shove her roughly away from yourself. You hear the breathe rush out of her as she slams into the tree, eyes widening. Tears streak down your face, and the look of terror on her face is on a level you've never seen before, far beyond anything you'd ever think yourself capable of causing.
The demon from the back of your head takes center stage now, snarling like an uncaged beast.
"Just shut the fuck up already!" You can't stop now, hands shaking as you grab her shirt. The small remaining pieces of sensibility you have, the ones that haven't already been engulfed in the inferno of anger rushing through you, are crying out in protest as she flinches away from you, turning her head and shutting her eyes.
Sobbing, you shake her roughly, unphased by the sickening thuds her head makes as it slams into the wood. Her hands scramble at your shirt, Jon's shirt, pushing weakly at your chest, but you can't stop. You can't stop shaking, can't stop crying, can't stop yourself as you grab her by the hair and continue to shake her roughly, the front of her head now susceptible to your attacks.
If you were more aware, you might've noticed when she stopped struggling, when her weight became heavier in your clenched fists, when her body slumped forward and stopped resisting every sickeningly wet blow against the trunk.
You don't know how long you sit there, slamming Cass's corpse against a tree in the middle of the park.
Eventually, your arms grow tired and you're wheezing too hard to keep going, lungs aching from both your sobs and the exertion. You let go of her shirt, listening to the crunch as she falls to the leaves, before tumbling to your knees, curling up and crying.
This is bad.
Her words echo in your head, even though you know her voice will never say them again.
You're a ticking time bomb.
You've finally gone off.

((author's note: you guys asked for this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ here we go, into the more dramatic and much longer path, and what a way to kick it off!! im not sure how you guys felt about cass, but i hope that this was at least shocking haha. it's the start of some tough times for sock, to say the least. but hey, what says 'sock sowachowski' like frantic murder? glad to finally update & i hope you guys enjoyed! as always, thank you so much for reading ❤️))