The red apple that should have stayed green

Chapter 16 - Delivrance

"Kim ?! KIM !"
That's voice ... she knew that voice ...

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Mom ? She woke up in that white room alone. She was so tired that her eyes could hardly stayed open. She turned her head to see the door from which someone was coming. When the woman saw Kim awake she smiled "Oh ! Doctor ! Doctor - she yelled in the corridor - she is awake ! She is back to us."

Back ?
"You scared us young girl, but now you are awake, it's a relief"
Is it ?
"Can you look at me ? Do you understand what I say ? Move your finger if you can't talk."
She moved her hand.
"Great ! The doctor will be here soon, ok ?"
Mom ?
"Why do look around ? Family ? ... Ah ... your tutor will be contact soon don't worry."
Tutor ? No Mom ? ...
The woman left the room letting Kim alone who fell asleep. She woke up again because of all the noise in her room. There was a full group of doctor observing her, doing some test to see if everything was alright. One of them smile at her and tried to reassure her. He played with his light in Kim dry eyes which hurt a bit and smiled again. "Everything seems alight girl, we are going to do you a MRI to check if it is really good." When they moved her bed she realise how her body was painful. Her right arm, some ribs and her wrist were broken. Her whole body was hurting as hell. As if some truck drove on her.
How many time ? What day ?
She wanted to know but no words could come out. After all her exams she got back to the white room and fell asleep again. She was so tired.
When she opened her eyes it was all dark outside. And Someone was holding her hand.
Mom ?
She turned to face that person but no it wasn't her mom. It was Jinki. She saw some tears falling on his cheeks. "Thank you god, thank you" he was saying. She tried to say something but nothing came. She could only saw him cry. He was hurt too. His hand had a bandage, and a band-aide was on his forehead. She finally got him really hurt. When he finally looked at her he saw some disappointment in her eyes. He knew why and started "... I'm sorry Kim" it wasn't starting well. "School called your parents, and end on your father. He said... -he stop to hold back some tears- he said that he has nothing to do with someone who ran out of his house. So he said that he wasn't going to come to take care of you. I went to your home to convince him. But ... but he even forbid your mom and sister to come. I am so sorry Kim. It's all my fault, I didn't protect you. I am so ..." He couldn't hold back anymore.
No ... Mom ?
Tears fell from Kim eyes. Her family really abandoned her. She was really left alone and the only person who cared about her was hurt because of her egoist self. She couldn't hold Jinki's hand anymore, she was feeling so guilty. She released his hand but he didn't. He was still holding it crying as apology. She couldn't look anymore and so she turn her head to face the window looking outside. There she met her reflection. That window returning her image made her hate everything. She hated her, why did she doubt at the crucial moment ? Why didn't she make a choice before Jinki got hurt ? Why didn't she tried to escape before everyone get hurts ? Eun Bi, Hanna, her mom, her sister, her love ... everyone. How could she be allow to love Jinki ? She didn't deserve him. She was hateful, she was pitiful ... Look at you Park Kim, you are horrible, pitiful, hateful. What did you do with your life .

One day, two days, three days, a week, hospital was suffocating, she was in a golden cage. The white walls were closing her from outside, the ceiling was compressing her heart, the window was showing her happy child with their family and it was hurting her deeply. She wanted to escape, she was going crazy, she couldn't breath anymore here. She still wasn't able talk but she needed fresh air, she needed to feel something. She wanted to smell something different from the hospital and death perfume, she wanted to feel the wind on her face, she wanted to walk out of her room or corridors even if it hurts. Even if it hurts, this is what would prove her she is still alive. She took a piece of paper and wrote her destination on it. She waited for Jinki's, and doctor's visit and until her service got empty. At that moment she wore her casual clothes, took her money and her paper. She carefully walked in the corridors until she reached the hall of the hospital. There she acted as normal as possible and got out. She waited for a taxi and got inside, she gave her paper and the man looked at her strangely. "There ? Right now ? Ya little girl you know what time is it ? You're going to get a cold !" But seeing that the girl wasn't answering and wasn't even looking at him made him give up and drive. He drove for one hour. One hour where Kim eyes got lost in the horizon, with a blank mind. One hour that seems never-ending but when the car stopped and the door opened the fresh wind welcomed her. The salty wind of the sea touch her lips and caressed her cheeks. She felt like if the wind was hugging her to comfort her torn soul. Every step was painful and when she finally reach the beach she took off her shoes and walked in the sand. That feeling, the cold sand covering her feet, made her close her eyes at each step. She walked until she reached the sea, there she waited for a wave to cover her feet. It was cold outside, and the water was freezing but whatever. She was having emotions again, she could feel once again. It was cold, and ? It was night and ? The wind was strong, and ? Her body was even more painful because of the cold , and ? If these affected her it meant that she was alive. She was still breathing, life hadn't left her. She opened her unbroken arm facing the horizon, her heart was free, she was free of all her burden here. She closed her eyes and some tears fell off them, but a smile came on her face. That smile which was nowhere to be found these past few days. That emotion which had faded away, was back. She took a deep breathe to fulled her lungs of this pur air, and took her decision.

That decision that will make everything change ...