Saviour

Choices Part 26

A knock came to the door snapping me from my thoughts Fallon tiptoed in carrying a tray of tea and sandwiches "thought you could use a break" she stared at me confused as I sat cross-legged on the floor by the record player crying my heart out she sat down beside me taking a peek at what I was listening to "Mammy loved that one" she spoke softly I nodded and wiped my eyes on my sleeve "she wanted me to hear it Fal"

Fallon smiled "She gave us all messages and little pieces of advice open to our own interpretation of course but I think she didn't want to leave us thinking we were alone, but that we had each other, and you'll still have us after you go back" she squeezed my hand tight.

"I'm so divided Fal, on one hand I have Q, the guys and Sam on the other I have Arizona and travel and a job"

Fallon was quiet for a minute her head wrinkled as she concentrated hard looking somewhere for an answer "Go where happiness is, where you can be yourself and use the talents you were given"

I didn't say anything but I thought that was the most useless answer she could give me Happiness was with my friends talent was in Arizona. I was still no closer to finding a solution.

Fallon stood looking over Sal "It's a scary thing taking a fall off those rocks I'm glad he's okay"

"I'll never forget the time it happened to you, the night of your 18th Mammy was in hysterics because you hadn't come home she was pacing the house then wandering outside and pacing the garden I just sat at the window listening to her screaming then I noticed Eamon coming across the beach with you in his arms."

"I think that was the first time I realised I had feelings for him, I didn't lose consciousness but I felt trapped I honestly thought I was going to die, then he pulled me from the water and carried me the whole way home" she gave a sigh and smiled I could see her picturing it all in her head like some sort of fairy tale.

"Why do you love him Fal?" I asked between bites of my sandwich

"Because he's mine I've never wanted for anything while I'm with him, he can know how I feel just my looking me in the eyes, he listens to me even if I'm talking rubbish, through the whole time I was caring for mammy he was there by my side he's a hard worker and a passionate lover."

"Eww Fallon!" I protested "More than I wanted to know."

Fallon blushed as she thought of her loved one I sipped on my tea watching how happy she got just describing Eamon "I hope I find someone to make me feel that way someday"

"What about Brian?"

"Qs great don't get me wrong but we're so different y'know he's beautiful yes and makes me feel so special yes but he's definitely not my forever, I know it and I'm sure he knows it too. For now what we have is good and maybe in years to come we might find something in each other again but I can't help feeling there's something bigger out there for me than marrying and settling down in New York."

Fallon rolled her eyes and smiled "that's always been your problem Sparrow, you always want more life is a very short series of moments stop looking for something bigger and look at what you have now, you've done so much already you lived in England you lived in America you found your passion in photography you learned to swim and ride horses and sail, you learned what it's like to fall in love and have it break your heart, if you died tomorrow you might of not thought you had lived much but I think you have done a whole lot some people will never do." she stood and kissed me on the forehead and left the room

I sat on the window seat looking out at the Village sipping my tea she had given me so much to think about. Not in a long while had I actually considered how short life was and what would happen if I died it wasn't exactly something I wanted to think about but it was definitely there in my mind.

I looked at Sal I wished he would just wake up so I wouldn't have this weight anymore I could spill it on him and he would listen and tell me what I should do.

Brian came back after a while to check on Sal "How's Joe?" I asked

"He's quiet for the first time" he laughed "it's probably the guilt he really didn't mean for this to happen."

"Well luckily he'll pull through, if I hadn't of got him in time then maybe..." I shuddered to think of the outcome.

"Are you coming to bed?" Q changed the subject I'm sure it was something he didn't want to think about either

I shook my head "I'm gonna stay here tonight just in case he wakes up"

Brian gave a pout pulling me into his warm embrace I giggled as he nuzzled his face into my neck "It's gonna be a cold night without you"

"Oh shush" I giggled hitting him away "you'll get over it"

He gave a cheeky wink "see you in the morning pretty lady"

"Um Q..?" I called as he was leaving the room

"Yeah?"

"I...what I mean is I..." Goddamnit I was trying to tell him I loved him but the words just weren't there what was wrong with me I did love him at least I think I did. "I'm gonna beat your ass at kayaking tomorrow" I shrugged

Q gave a laugh and shook his head "well duh"

I sat alone in silence for a while I heard Murr and Joe going to bed and Apollo locking up the house before going out to his van. I curled up in the arm chair it was only just dusk but it had been such a long day for everyone I could barely keep my eyes open I watched the flames in the fire start to die and slowly drifted to sleep.

"MA?, JENNA?, Q?" I was woken by Sal screaming he was awake and confused. It was fully dark probably the middle of the night I stumbled out of the arm chair and felt my way over to where he lay. "Who's there?!" he shouted

"Shhh" I hushed him "Its Maggie, Sal you were in an accident earlier do you remember it?"

Sal thought about it "I remember water and darkness."

"Yes you fell from the rocks, don't worry you're perfectly okay just a little shaken probably"

"H..How did I get out?"

"I went in after you and pulled you out then the guys carried you back to the house" Sal didn't say anything he was making a noise though sniffing and breathing heavily I reached out to stroke his face "Sal are you crying?"

"You didn't have to save me."

"What?! Why would you say that of course I had to save you?"

His voice was broken and soft "I snapped at you Maggie I shouldn't have been so horrible"

"Oh shush move over" I squeezed into the bed beside him pulling him up to rest his head on my chest like a child "I've had worse fights with inanimate objects.. Literally I stubbed my toe earlier it hurt like a bitch"

Sal gave a slight laugh and sniffed again "I am sorry though"

I stroked his hair softly "I'm sorry for not telling you"

"Maggie?" he asked quietly

"Yeah?"

"Why are you cradling me like a child?"

"Want me to stop?" I pulled away I knew how iffy Sal could be about cuddling it took him months of knowing me for us to even hug like I wasn't contagious, The guys had always reassured me it was just him he wasn't a physical person in anyway especially when it came to women.

"No" Sal pulled me back resting his head on my shoulder "Please stay, It's been a while since I cuddled somebody." We went quiet after this we just lay in silence I could tell he was still awake, he cried a few times but I just held onto him as we lay my best friend and me.