My thoughts

Dear Tyler Oakley

Im just posting this here first before i pluck up the courage to post it on twitter or tumblr. feedback would be much appreciated xx

Hey Tyler

Quick introduction. I'm Mollie D. We met on September 3rd in 2015, at your first Australian Slumber Party tour stop. This was one of the best nights of my life and I still can't believe it happened.

But, at that time, it was the middle of term 3 at school, and I was extremely stressed out.

I was stressed for numerous reasons, the 3 main ones being.

1. I had been thinking about and imagining meeting you on the 3rd of September since I had purchased tickets months ago

2. Troye Sivan's WILD album was being released on the 4th of September. I wasn't really stressed about this one. Just really excited, but also annoyed because I couldn't listen to it because...

3. I was leaving for a 9-day trek to the middle of Australia on the 5th of September, where no phones were allowed (and there were no showers, running water or proper toilets for half of those days either)

I was mainly stressed out over (but also extremely excited about) the last one. This was because it included about 4 months preparation, shopping and weekly weekend meetings. It also meant that I had to hand up all my school assignments due during the time I was away earlier (and I hadn't planned on having to do that).

I didn't think about the fact that all these things were happening consecutively on the 3rd, 4th and 5th until the Monday of that week.

And me being me, I forgot that I meeting one of the people that I have looked up to and admired for over a year for the first (and probably only) time, was kind of a big deal.

So when Thursday the 3rd arrived, with my friends freaking out and my mum freaking out and my sister freaking out, I started freaking out. And freaking out (internally) while you are meeting your idol is not a good thing at all. Especially for me, since I normally overthink everything on a day-to-day basis.

One thing I regret is not being 100% myself when I met you. I didn't even INTRODUCE myself (my sister did. And she didn't even use my full first name). And because I went to your show in a group, I felt pressured to rush my time with you. All I got to do was hug you (not even for as long as I would have liked), get a picture (in a cliché 'smile to the camera with arms around each other' pose. I had good pose planned but I forgot it), and hurriedly explain what my gift to you was.

I don't regret meeting you at all, just in the particular situation and time. This has nothing to do with you at all. Nothing. This is about me and how I was on the night.

Side note: the 9-day trek that I went on allowed me to take the time to think about my life back at home. As I injured my leg on the trek, I had a lot of time away from the group (and the internet) to just think about everyone and everything. That's when I reflected on the night I met you.

I have changed so much since I started watching your videos (in a good way). I feel more comfortable in myself.

I wished I had taken more time to tell you how much you mean to me, and how much you have helped me over the past year or so.

I wish I could meet you again, and introduce myself, not have someone do it for me.

So again, this has nothing to do with you. The show was amazing, you were amazing (as usual) and I had the best time of my life.

I defiantly don't regret meeting you one bit, and I am extremely grateful that I had to chance to meet you. I just wished it were at a different time in my life.

So thank you Tyler, and I hope you read this and understand.

- Mollie D xx