Scottish Taunting

They pulled to a halt and all stared up at the thick stone walls that towered over their heads. The castle was old - probably decades or even centuries old - but nevertheless, once the quintet had dismounted, Eli cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Hello!" he called.

There was no reply.

"HELLO!"

This time his tone could best be compared to a bellow.

After a few seconds, a face appeared on the battlements, looking down at them all in curiosity."

'Ello?" Their voice sounded feminine. "Who's there, then?"

"I'm Eli Shane!" Eli shouted. "And these are my friends. Can you tell me who owns this place?"

"This is Perry McLinden's castle, lad!" Yep, it was definitely a woman.

"Can you please tell whoever's in charge here that we're on an important mission?" Next to him, Trixie zoomed in with her camera to get a better look at the woman's face. "If they can put us up for the night, they can join us and there'll definitely be a reward for finding the Core Slug! The most important and most powerful slug in all of Slugterra!"

"Well, I'll ask 'em, but I don't think they'll be very keen!" On the camera screen, they could see her hair was dyed and her face was pierced and bore dark eyeshadow and lipstick. "He's already been and got one, you see?"

"What?" Eli said in disbelief.

"She said they've already got one!" Pronto clarified.

"Are you sure he's got one?" Eli called.

"Oh aye, and it's very nice!" the woman responded.

Up on the battlements she leaned back and, to her hidden friends, she whispered "I told 'em we already got one," and they all struggled to stifle their laughter.

Eli, meanwhile, felt a little off balance.

"Well, uh..." Searching for the right thing to say was proving difficult. "...um, can we come in and see it?"

"Of course not!" the woman shouted. "You lot are Western folk!"

"What're you, then?" Eli asked.

"I'm Northern!" the woman yelled. "Why d'you think I got this accent, you bloody scunner?!"

"What're you doing in the 99 Caverns?" asked Trixie.

"Mind your own beeswax!" was the prompt and angry response.

Eli could feel a vein throbbing in his temple.

"If you won't let us see the Core Slug," he called, "then we'll just have to come in and take it!"

"You don't frighten me, you dummy Western pig-dogs!" the woman bellowed. "Go and boil your arses in soup, you sons of stupid-arse smegheads! I blow my nose at you, daffy Shane, you and your dumb-as-cheese Western sllllllllllllllllllin-gers!"

She proceeded to slap on top of her head, blowing a long raspberry down at the group, then stuck her thumbs in her ears and blew two more.

"What a strange person!" Junjie commented.

"Now come on, miss-" Eli tried.

"No, I ain't interested in talking to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!" the woman loudly interjected. "I'm fartin' in your general direction, you stupid arse! Your mam was an 'amster and your pap smelled of elderberries!"