Burn

Chapter 13

  Usher -

  The next morning when I woke up Taraji was still sleeping. I quietly hopped out of bed and went across the hall to the bathroom. I grabbed my tooth brush and started brushing my teeth, once I was done I washed my face and then I hopped in the shower.

  After lathering my body down I hopped out, dried off, and wrapped the towel around my waist. I grabbed my Men's Arm and Hammer deodorant and put some on. I went back in the room got dressed, and then I grabbed my phone off the night stand, kissed Taraji on the forehead and left.

I grabbed my helmet and my leather jacket and decided on taking my motorcycle today. I drove a few blocks and pulled in front of Grant Park where I was meeting Chili for breakfast.

I didn't honestly know how I felt about it but when she called the other day we talked for a few hours and after laughing so much I decided to go ahead and accept her offer.

I hadn't seen Chili in five years, we had a bad breakup and every girl that I dated after her was just a rebound, that is until I met Taraji. Taraji was like a breath of fresh air, she was something new, but in order for me to move on and be happy with her I had to find some closure with Chili.

I had to be honest I still had some feelings for her, and being on the phone with her the other day brought back memories. Memories to when we used to just kick back and have fun.

I smiled as I spotted Chili sitting on the bench waiting for me. She still looked the same, I swear this girl didn't age not one bit. I took off my shades and she stood up. I gave her a hug and then sat down in front of her staring her in the eyes.

"Wow you look good, and I see you still wear that U chain I brought you," she said noticing the chain.

"You look good yourself, and yeah, I wear it all the time," I said looking down at the chain. It was the night of the My Way tour. I had just got off the stage in Houston Texas. Chili had given me a small gold box a few months back but I never opened it up.

Finally on the bus I opened the box, and smiled as I saw the chain. I put it around my neck and I called her telling her how much I loved it. The same night I cheated on her, she caught me in bed with another woman.

I don't know why I still wear this chain, cause it reminds me everyday of that night. I guess I wear it because after all these years of being without her, this all I have to remember her by.

"I honestly didn't think you were coming?" She said as she opened the picnic basket that was sitting beside her.

"Yeah, I thought about it long and hard, and then I decided what the hell, I mean we haven't seen each other in over five or six years," I replied.

"Yeah, Usher that night at the hotel, when I caught you in bed...(she paused for a moment as she wiped the tears that were falling down her eyes) It really hurt me, I asked myself over and over what I did for you to betray me the way you did," she said as she wiped her face.

I held my head in shame. I honestly don't know why I did what I did. Cheating on her wasn't cool, especially since the bitch I cheated on her with didn't look as half as good as she did.

"Honestly Chili, I don't know a lie good to say," I replied while taking several deep breaths.

"Do you still keep in touch with her?" She asked while staring deep into my eyes.

"Yes unfortunately I have to, I made her my assistant, when we lost our son," I replied.

"Tameka is the girl?" She asked.

"Yes, Tameka is the girl I cheated on you with, she got pregnant, that's where and how I came up with confessions. The whole album was an open apology letter to you," I said while taking a deep breath.

"Does your girlfriend know?" She asked.

"No I was going to keep in the past," I said while rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"usher you need to tell her the truth, what happens if she finds out?" She asked.

"Look I don't know alright, I didn't come here to talk about my relationship, I came to talk about us, to try and be friends and move on from the past," I replied.

"Usher I have moved on, and I forgive you, I will always love you, and I am so happy for you but I must say you should come clean, She not going to like hearing secrets from other people when it should be coming from her man," she replied.

"I hear you," I'm gone tell her eventually.

Yes I had been keeping several secrets from Taraji. It's more than just the Tameka stuff, it's other secrets that I have kept. Only because I didn't want to loose Taraji. I didn't want her to look at me differently and leave me because of my past mistakes.

Honestly I didn't want to tell her and then it blew up in my face. I took a deep breath and thought to myself. Was all these secrets worth loosing Taraji? Wouldn't it just be cool if I came clean and told the truth?

After thinking things through I promised that tonight I would come clean and tell Taraji everything, and if she accepted the secrets and still wanted to be with me, cool. If not, I guess  I would just have to let it burn.