Denied the chance (The Script fanfic)

Cutting ties

'Where do I even start?' I sigh, letting go of all that was holding me together inside. The operative word being was. I prepare myself to let it all come flooding out. Mark is still standing there, staring at me, waiting. 

'Let me show you something, it will be easier to explain..' Mark nods and follows me as I begin walking. Luckily, the rain has subsided, leaving an array of threatening, grey clouds and it is only a few minutes walk.

Those minutes are spent silent and uncomfortable. The burden of my confession laying on my shoulders; uncertainty clouding Mark's judgement.

~*~

Finally, we arrive and I lead Mark to the exact spot: Danielle's grave.

'I said I'd cut all ties, I lied.'

Slowly, Mark's head turns, his eyes darkening as he reads the headstone. "Danielle Maisie-Rae Cleary. Born:7th January 2002, Died:7th January 2002"

'I knew you wouldn't be able to do it.' Is all he says in response. It takes a moment for it to register that this is actually my daughter's grave. 'Shit! I'm so sorry. Your baby... It died.' I nod, my tear ducts filling up. 

'She was a still-born.'

Exhausted, I sigh, before settling myself on the ground. 

'I couldn't do it. I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of her; it's against everything that I believe in.' Mark joins me on the floor in what I assume is some kind of attempt to comfort me. Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself to continue; the moment of calm before all control is lost.

'Maybe you were right, everything happens for a reason... Maybe this did too. It was selfish of me, I know, but she was all I had left of him. I couldn't just banish him from my life completely, I needed something to remember him by and I guess Danielle was perfect. A piece of him, his daughter; our daughter. Even that didn't work out, I suppose that was a sign. I'm too selfish to be a mother.'

Immediately Mark shakes his head. 

'Don't you dare say that! You told the love of your life that you were moving to the other side of the world. Really, you were just moving to London, but my point is that you did it for him. For the dream career that he didn't even have yet.'

'But look at you guys now! I knew that your big break was going to come. And I also knew that, if I'd stayed then Dan would've given it all up. I couldn't have him ruining his dream for me.' I know Mark is only saying things as they are, but I just can't process it. We spend what seems like hours just sitting, letting it all sink in.

'She died. My baby died.' Suddenly, this all becomes real. My baby is gone, she has been for ten years now. Woah, Danielle would've been ten now. My very own floodgates burst, as I quite literally cry myself a river.

After a while, Mark speaks up 

'Did you keep my phone number all these years?' The question startles me slightly, making me think for a moment before answering.

'No, I found it, on a piece of paper. It was over there actually.' Using my right hand, I indicate to where I saw the paper floating down.

'What was my number doing here?'

'I was just wondering that actually.' There is a brief moment of silence before Mark speaks once more.

'Nice roses..' He says, fading off slightly.

'Yeah, they are.  Every year I buy a white rose and put it by her gravestone on her birthday.'

'That's a nice way to remember her, a single white rose.' I smile weakly, agreeing with him.

'Can I meet up with him again?' I ask, regretting it as soon as it is said.

'Who? Danny?' Mark questions, my own question obviously taking him by surprise. Not trusting my own words, I nod. 'Okay then.' Is all that's said before Mark pulls out his phone, there is no going back now...

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A/N: Thanks for reading! And sorry if it's still confusing...I tried to sort it out a bit. If it is really confusing let me know and I'll do a summary or something ;-)

GirlWhoCantBeMoved13