The Story Of My Life

My first date

YES GUYS! It happened. I went on a date!

But this time, it was different, still the same shitty luck, but it was with a guy.
I met him on a gay dating app. He's 16
I went on my first date and im 18, yeah I know. But thats my luck you cant blame me

Anyway. It was the best day of my life. It was a normal date, we went to the movies, we ate, walked around and so on. And it felt like magic I swear. Specially that feeling when he held my hand. I died. The cute things he whispered in my ear in the movie, i was done, but in a good way. At the end, we kissed. I just can't explain the feeling. Everything was perfect, specially the fact that he was an idiot, he used to care less about what people will say about the thing that he's doing. He's honest , cute, and just everything i ever wanted in a guy.
And of course after all of this. I was attached. And LIKE ALOT

When i came back home, we FaceTimed
He introduced me to his friends. They're nice specially his girl best friend, shes 👌🏻.

Anywho he had family problems, his dad is a dick he used to randomly take his phone away, or not allowing to go out so it made things harder. But I stayed. I was fighting with him because i wanted it, i wanted him.

Weeks past, I didn't see him again. I don't blame him. But i blame him for not showing up for dates and not telling me that he wanted to cancel.
After not showing up to the third date. I was done, but this time in a bad way.
I stayed.
But he didn't.
He did let me go after all... After everything, i saw him once i know. But he is something to me. I didn't know that he could be so cold. But somehow i knew we'd end up this way, it was too perfect to be real.
At the end i ask him 'did we ever happen' he said 'for you we did, for me we didn't' even tho his excuse for letting me go was the fact that he did this for me, he didn't want me to suffer with him and his dad. Yea right.
I knew it wasn't much, but it felt like something
It was broken and wrong it was nothing at all. But i felt something.

That's why he's #4 but I don't know if he's the tragic story or #1
I don't know if i should hate him or not.
Even tho im pretty sure I'll forgive him if he asked for a second chance. Because im an idiot or simply still too attached.