Ignored // writings

1

As she sits in her room she demands to feel.

But she always comes to conclusions that shes not in control.

She will never be in control.

When she wants to speak up, she won't.

When she wants to star in a play, she won't.

Because she will never be in control.

She's come to terms of peace with it though.

The demons inside her will always be in control.

Tormenting her.

Tell her that she will never be okay.

She will never be her own person.

She will never be confident.

She will always be anxious and scared.

The demons, you see, feed on other people.

They take in what she sees in society and tell her to become like that.

They must feed on peers to survive.

And she doesnt know how to make it stop.

She doesnt know how to destroy them from the core.

She doesnt know because they found her at a young age.

They saw potential in a little 10 year old girl.

They saw that little opening of insecurity.

They saw her.

They wanted her, to make her miserable.

So they did.

They attached themselves to her.

They reproduced over the years.

They were patient but determined.

They drew her happiness and confidence away like a vampire and his victim.

Slowly but surely they got what they wanted.

She no longer likes taking pictures.

She no longer speaks up.

Truthfully she never spoke up.

They stopped her childhood when it was supposed to begin.

They didn't even give her a chance.

They made her see life differently.

Sure they took away her confidence, but they showed her how not to care in a different way.

To not care about herself.

They showed her the art in things repulsing.

Now she saw beauty in the scarlet lines and swirls on the canvases she calls arms.

She saw beauty in the black and blue droplets on her body from hitting there too hard.

She saw beauty in looking like a skeleton on halloween.

She saw beauty on things repulsing.

They made her like this.

Those evil demons.

They made her sad, angry, anxious.

They make her sick.

So she just sits in her room.

Accepting what she thinks she deserves.

She knows shes not in control.

She knows.

They know.

But no one around her knows.

And that's how the demons want to keep it.

They want to keep their innocense.

They want to make it seem like nothings wrong.

It's easy though.

Everyone is pretty gullable.

Which is why it's easy to get more prey every day.

That little gap of opportunity.

Onto the next victim.

I.R.G 1/14/2016