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by imsorrywaht

by imsorrywaht

Why am I always the one to sit on the edge of my seat in an arena of life while the ones I love are battling the ruthless emotion of pain?

Why am I always watching exchanges between love and desperation in the shadows?

Why do I have to deal with other's rainclouds when I have my own blizzard of desolation to deal with?

Why can't I just absorb everyone's heart ache into my own broken heart.

I'm always expected to be there for people so I've begun playing puppeteer with myself. Even when I don't have the strength and my brain is shutting down communication with my limbs, I still pull the strings that are attached to myself and I lend a helping hand. I throw my arms over those who need a warm hug and I patch the wounds of other with my numb fingers.

Numb fingers, numb toes. I'm numb all the way to my aching head. I can't feel anything but the bile rising up my throat as sobs come out of yours I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm trying to make this better.

(Please understand I'm trying to help you feel better when I don't know how to feel)
I.R.G.
5/3/17