Bittersweet Agony

Chapter 11

The house was particularly quiet for the week that followed until I had my next job. But even then it was all business. Cole called me into his office, told me what I'd be doing, and dismissed me. I ate my meals in my room unless Cole requested me down with everyone else (which happened often, at least for dinner).

I was getting ready in my room by myself and it was quiet, until Blythe barged in again announcing her presence.

"You ready to get ready, hot stuff?" She winked at me, dropping her equipment.

"I already am..." I trailed off confusedly, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice.

"Well, I'm here to help." She smiled brightly, unaffected by my discreet attempt to make her leave.

"All right." I answered quietly, and sat still while she began on my hair.

30 minutes later and a lot of hairspray and makeup, I was heading downstairs once again. I was greeted by Cole's blank stare, and we walked out together. Surprisingly, he grabbed my left hip as he stayed a step behind me, and led me out. I didn't flinch or even move, but he knew I knew he was there.

We got to the car and he opened my door and walked around to the driver side. Blake was the only one seated in the back, and he didn't acknowledge our entrance.

The three of us walked into the club together, and Cole's hand on my back gingerly led me in.

The job was quick and he was gone in less than an hour. I wanted to stay longer but the boys refused, so we left.

*~*
Back at the house, things were quiet. I went straight to my room without a word, as usual, but Cole called me back down before I even got half way up the stairs. I crawled back down slowly, unsurely, and met him in the living room, where most of the others were.

"Come to my office." He demanded, standing up. I followed him cautiously and the others eyed me.

"Have a seat." He gestured to the seats and it all felt way too formal.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, not taking a seat.

"I just wanted to tell you that you did well tonight." There was a pause and I was waiting for the "but". "You don't have any other secret friends to protect, do you?"

There it is.

"No." I told him. "Just Zach."

He nodded. "Good."

"Is that all?"

"No," he said, but never continued. He watched me silently and I grew uncomfortable.

I stared at him for minutes, waiting for him to speak, but he never did. "Were you going to say it, or...?" I trailed off.

"Right." He shook his head. "What's the deal with you and Zach?"

I sighed. "We've been over this, Cole."

"But you never told me."

"Because there's nothing to tell. That's my personal business, and I have the right to keep it to myself."

"Ady, listen," he rubbed his face and sighed heavily. "You're a part of this gang now. You're in this family. That means -"

"I know what that means. I have to give up every little piece of me so you guys can control me. So you have everything over me and I have no chance of getting out. I get it." My voice got quieter but my eyes never left his. "I know how this works." I added sternly.

"It's not about control, it's about trust. How are any of us supposed to trust you with anything if we don't know anything about you? And how can you be happy here if you keep to yourself? You need to open up."