Where Has It All Gone?

Country Women Banter

When I finally stepped out of the shower, I looked at myself in the foggy mirror for awhile. Then, taking a pair of scissors from the drawer, I began to cut my most prized possession and watched as the first lock fell, then the second, then more and more until my hair was no longer waist-length, it was now shoulder blade length. I, then, swept up the hair, dumped it out, pulled on my clothes and went into the room me and Corey shared. He was already in the room when I got there, sitting up and reading a book. Without a word, I laid down beside him, turned over, flipped off my light and closed my eyes.

When I awoke the next morning, he was gone and the family dog was beside me instead. I got up and brushed my teeth and stared at myself in the mirror, running my hands through my short hair. It was a foreign touch when I ran the length of my hair and it abruptly stopped instead of it flowing to my waist. I sighed and left the bathroom, returned to me and Corey's room and got dressed. I picked up my stiff clothes from the night before, after pulling on some socks and knee high boots, and stepped out into the hallway of the farm house and made my way downstairs with my filthy, blood-caked and torn up clothes in search of a lighter to burn them with.

Two things happened, one good, one bad and I'll let you decide which is which: One I found the lighter. Two Corey was holding it in one hand and his clothes in another hand. We both just stared at each other for what seemed like eternity until he broke the silence. "I...I guess you need this too h-huh? I mean if you're using it for what I think you're going to use it..for" he stuttered.

I giggled and kissed his cheek as a way of saying apology accepted, "Are you always this articulate?" He smiled. If there's one thing I know for sure about Corey, it's that he's always awkward and stutters when he's sorry or guilty for something. He took the clothes from me and we walked out back and burned them as not to spread disease trying to wash them.

I took that moment as an incentive to strike up a conversation.

"So...dinner isn't for awhile. What are you going to do till then?" I asked. We were seated on the back porch steps, watching our past go up in flames and I had my head on his shoulder and his hand was on my thigh.

He thought about that for a minute and said, "Well... AJ and his brothers wanted me to go and uhh show me around the property I guess. He was rather vague about what it was exactly we were doing. He said to meet him by the back porch steps in a few minutes."

"No specific time?"

"No...I guess time is just a...memory now. We've got all the time in the world if we're looking to take it. He was about to give me a time but he decided against it the way he hesitated. I don't know if I'll even go with them. I still don't trust AJ completely just yet..."

I smiled at his jealousy. "Nah go hang out with them. You'll be fine. You've been around me too long, me and my girl issues, you might be gay." I laughed at his expression and continued. "I'll be with Oleander and Olivia, the two twins, and Mrs.Rivers. So long as you don't come back in overalls and a big hat, go have fun babe. Maybe I'll get to see Farmer Rivers...they said they need some help with the dinner and then I could explore once the roast was in the oven."

He grinned and said "I always did looove your cooking." I laughed and playfully pushed him. He and I both know I can't cook to save my life, but just was determined to learn today. When we saw AJ with, who I assumed were his brothers, coming up the hill Corey leaned over and kissed my forehead. "My sexy survivor. I'll be back soon, holler if you need me. I love you." He gave my leg a squeeze, got up and walked towards the boys, then turned and said something that really made me love him even more. "I love what you've done with your hair, honeycomb. Keep it like that if you can." I smiled and nodded an "ok" to him and smiled to AJ who tipped his hat to me. As did every male on the farm, minus Corey.

When they left, I doused the fire with some water from the well and went back inside. Well, I thought to myself, time to go be a farm girl I guess. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door to the kitchen. The whole kitchen had a strawberry theme to it. Strawberry wallpaper, dish rags, plates, bowls, cups, placemats, and even a small upside down strawberry timer. There was Amy Winehouse playing on a small and rather really old looking, record player, of course, covered in strawberry stickers. Faded by the years, but strawberries nonetheless.
One of the twins turned around, whom I later learned was Olivia, froze and held my gaze for a good two good minutes before she spoke."Oh...it's you. Do you know how to peel potatoes?" Olivia asked when she popped out of her trance like state.I silently nodded a 'yes', sat down at the table and set to work peeling 10 potatoes, vaguely listening to their conversations. They were mostly talking about the farm and chores that needed to be done, just "country women banter" my mother used to call it. She grew up on a farm and her mother, my deceased grandmother, would only talk about the chores on the farm. My mother and my aunt would call it "country women banter" once they moved to the city. At the memory of my mom, my eyes began tearing up, but I quickly wiped them away.

"Its ok to cry about your mother, even if you don't know if she's dead or not."

It was Mrs. Rivers. That freaked me out badly, mostly because her back was turned and I'm positive I didn't make a sound, so I said before I could catch myself, "H-how did you know I was crying for my mother?" She simply smiled and said, "Because I'm a mother my self and I did the same thing when my mom died. I would often get a dreamy look on my face or smile to myself, then suddenly my eyes would tear up. I can see you have a lot of Bethany's traits..."

At that comment, I calmly set down my knife, pushed away from the table, turned my chair around and stared her in the eye, almost challenging her, and said, "What do you know about my mother? How do you know her name?" The old woman smirked and said, "She's my sister. Now, just like our mother, I've done nothing but tend to this farm and talk about country women banter...such a shame to some, but I never regret anything."

I just about cried. "Auntie Teya?" I whispered in a childlike voice. She opened her arms, "Hello my dear child, how you've grown since I last saw you." I couldn't hold it in anymore as I ran to her and broke down and, body racked with each sob, I cried into her shoulder. I cried for everyone we lost, couldn't save, took for granted, etc. She just held me and stroked my hair as her daughters, my cousins, joined in and hugged me as well. There we were and there we stayed for a good 15 minutes as I just cried. So it really isn't just me and Corey against the world anymore... I thought to myself. I was to learn that things are not always what they seem and family isn't always to be trusted.