Feeling Indigo, how about you?

17- lost

your bright eyes collide with mine,

my gaze is practically swimming 

through the waves in your eyes

how can someone seem so intense,

yet so soft, and so gentle,

if only I could find the details to your puzzle

I torture myself everyday 

trying to avoid your eyes when I just can't,

knowing that your gaze is burning a hole through my head

your long, dark hair never fails to distract me

you are a fictional character

yet on some days,

I can feel your gaze boring into my soul, 

not too far away

I feel as if your shadows are following me,

and the constant sound of footsteps are you

wanting me to feel fear, dread, and despair,

knowing you'll never actually dare to come near

because you are as far away as ever

up in the stars,

over the clouds, 

hovering in the sky,

trapped in your heart,

and in a book 

that can't ever be changed

your mesmerizing gaze got me shivering and drowning in it, soaked with cold water.

I made the most terrible mistake of running away,

with the thought that it would somehow be better that way

but I was too naive and my thoughts were irrational then,

tangled with a deep sorrow that began to surge through me for no reason

or maybe I was simply in mourning for the many souls who die everyday 

as the corruption of the earth only burned in a brighter flame

but you were my world and without you

I have only the earth, 

destroyed by lies and injustice

so this time,

I am shivering and drowning

but it is not in your eyes

and it is not the result of your intense gaze

that bore into mine,

it is only in this desolated world of shame

there is no one left for me here but myself

as I inhale the faint scent of you for the last time,

as I say my final goodbye, the thought of you still vivid in my mind,

the memory of you there to stay forever

my soul is stained and tainted,

it only gets worse each day

welcoming the darker side