Feeling Indigo, how about you?

46- second chance

I was dying yesterday

in the rain

at 12:15

and it seems so insane 

that I am still alive on this day

I have found myself in a new life 

but with old memories

I doubt myself

of doing any better in this light 

because surely if I died first

I'd get lost again in this second life

I'm still the same person

with the same memories,

the same mistakes

and I am not a risk taker

I am anything but

but I have a chance that I should take

why must I even think to surrender and fail

and yet right now I am wasting this time

consumed in nonsense

when I should be living for you

and trying to save you at this very moment

I saw it in your eyes

there was something beyond sorrow

and I saw new scars  and bruises 

mostly hidden by your clothes

I should have been there for you

but the world is all about should have's and what if's

and yet we make the same mistakes again and again

and we continuously let the rain soak us,

the tears of the sky pounding hard on the Earth 

wherever we look

and we feel confusion and fear

when really we're just trying to run away 

from reality and depressing hearts

that could poison us and tear us apart