22- peculiar

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why must you look down on us

as if we're peculiar

we're not perfect, we know

but why, why must you have such looks on your faces


whenever you see us

no matter how many times I try to not care

I just can't

your dear opinion, my friend, matters so much to me


I always admired how you could look so carefree and happy

I wonder, are you really as happy as you look?

just the way you look down on me now


makes my heart shatter into pieces

like that wine bottle my father hurled towards me

while he was drunk

does that mean I am weak?

or does that mean I am only human?


I feel terrified,

there is pandemonium in my head.

so I hold myself in grief

things could have been a lot more worse


but still, I just can't stop the dreary feeling in my heart and soul

as negativity clouds my mind


and the only thing now that continues to repeat

is that I really am peculiar

peculiar in a bad way, in a very very bad way

that was all I was, that was all I'll ever be

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so uh.. I was just going through my drafts and found this, I forgot that I actually typed this around 3 or 4 months ago.  





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