Home (boyxboy)

t w o

August 2015

Sometimes - or a lot of the time - Lev wishes that it isn't always just one and done. It's almost worse that everything goes back to normal in the morning. No grounding, no sequestering to the house, nothing. It's as if it didn't even happen. As if Lev hadn't even gotten into trouble.

There's a party tonight, somewhere over in Gwen's neighborhood. Because he isn't grounded, Lev doesn't have a viable excuse to not go, even though he sort of wishes he did have an excuse. He sometimes gets into this weird kind of headspace after arguing with his stepfather and doesn't really feel like being around a bunch of people. But really, anywhere's better than this place, this sorry excuse for a home. So, he'll go even though he can't even bring himself to enjoy the damn things anymore, can't even bring himself to touch the alcohol anymore.

Lev sighs audibly, frustrated.

"What's wrong with you?" Lev's oldest younger sister, Isabel, asks, turning from her television program to glance at him.

"I don't really want to go out tonight, but I don't really want to stay here either." Lev tells her.

"Sheesh, thanks." Isabel answers, pretending to take Lev's statement as a personal attack against her.

"Shut it, Iz. You know what I mean."

"Not really. Why don't you want to go?"

Lev contemplates it, not sure how to word his thoughts because they haven't even taken on a definitive form in his own mind. Isabel looks at him expectantly. Her dyed blond hair is twisted up into two tight buns on the top of her head. Lev likes when she wears her hair like that. Half because he thinks it looks cool and half because he knows John hates it when she does.

"Is it because Gwen's got that thing with Noah now?" Isabel asks before Lev can respond.

Lev bites his lip, worrying it between his teeth. "I mean, not really. Like, I'm happy for them. Sure it's less attention for me, but, like..."

"So it, like, doesn't bother you?"

"Does what bother me?"

"How Gwen ended up with Noah and not with you."

Lev snorts and rolls his eyes. What a ridiculous question.

But, then again, it isn't like Isabel knows. It isn't like Lev can just tell her.

"Nah. I mean, I love Gwen, but I've never been attracted to her like that." Lev says.

"Why not?" Isabel counters.

And Lev is thrown for a loop. "Isabel!" He exclaims because he doesn't know what else to say.

"Sorry, Lev. I guess I just assumed with how close you two are that it might have turned into something more."

It makes sense, her rationale. Lev can't deny that. But, it is off the mark. Quite a bit off the mark.

"What about Wesley?" Isabel asks.

That's when Lev's heart stops and his blood runs cold. "What about Wesley?" He snaps, voice coming out even sharper than he intended.

Get a grip, Lev. Jesus.

Isabel gives him a wary look, but decides to ignore Lev's strange reaction. Thankfully. "I was just going to ask how he felt about Gwen and Noah."

And, thank god.

"Oh, um, I think he's fine with it. Noah's a great guy." Lev tells her.

Isabel hums her assent and then turns her attention back to the television, apparently finished with the conversation.