Dear No One [on hold]

January 10 ~ 9am

Dear journal,

Well, actually, I'm writing this all down on a piece of lined paper because I don't have my actual journal at the moment. But I'll just copy all this down on it later.

Anyways, it is currently 9 in the morning. Way too early for me to be up and out there.

I am extremely bored right now. Just stuck in biology class, learning about the difference between mitosis and meiosis and how each phase works.

I was about to fall asleep, but Mr. Nicolletti gave me the death glare when I almost fell into slumber on my rusty desk while he was giving a lecture. A really. lame. lecture. He needs to stop teaching at this school and stay at a retirement home already because he's the one who looks more like falling asleep.

So, that's the reason why I decided to start writing this entry. To look like I'm actually listening and being productive by "taking notes" when really, I'm just doing this.

I just want to go home right now. Even though it's a dysfunctional mess there. I just really don't want to be here. This isn't worth my time. Last night, I laid in bed, wide awake, late on a school night, asking myself, "Do I really need an education?" then I start to cry because I had to get ready for school in an hour and I had barely slept yet. My insomnia is going nowhere for me. I'm guessing that's the reason why I'm not in the mood. Lack of sleep.

I'm what the kids call, "sleep deprived".

I think too much. I just can't seem to make my brain shut up. It's so infuriating. God, I'm such a mess. I need to get my shit together. I need to fix myself. I need to see a therapist, or maybe a guidance counselor. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Not even they can fix this mess.

I wonder if there's anyone out there going through the same thing. I kinda hope someone isn't so they wouldn't have to feel this pain, but at the same time, I also hope someone is, so I won't feel so alone in this.

I need a friend. There's pretty much no one in this school I can relate to. It sucks.

Well, finally, the bell just rang. One class down, seven more to go.

Kill me now.

Sincerely,

Mollie B .