Shattered {YourPalRoss X Reader} [EDITING]

Chapter 6 [EDITED]

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(Y/N) Your Name
(L/N) Last Name
(Y/YT/N) Your Youtube Name
(Italics) Thoughts
(Bold) Author's Note
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~(Y/N) Perspective~

I ran and ran, I didn't know where I was going. The only thing I know is that I need... to get as far away from the offices as I can. I left everything behind, my wallet, my car keys, my house keys, and my ring, but I had my phone. I started to slow, I was breathing hard. I decided to walk to the park.

I sat down on a bench by the pond. It was spring, the flowers were begging to bloom and the grass was returning to a vibrant green. But the cold still bit at my nose and ears. I started to cry, the tears wouldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. I wanted Ross to trust me, I wanted him to have faith in me. And yet, after all we've been through, he doesn't. I could have stayed and screamed at him how he broke my heart and yet I still forgave him. In a way, it feels like I am returning the favor. Why couldn't life slow down for just a moment. I can't keep my head above the water and I am so scared I am going to drown. 

I closed my eyes and tried to remember a time when there was peace, and love. And us, is there even an us now? Oh God what did I ever do to deserve such a pain, such an ache that will never be able to dim. I started to cry more when I felt a tug on my pants. I opened my eyes to see a little girl, her beautiful brown eyes looking into mine.

"Y-you... you're (Y/YT/N)! But why are you crying?" She only looked to be five or six.

"Yes, I am. Hi I'm (Y/N) it's nice to meet you, I am sorry what's your name sweetie?" I smiled.

"Oh, my name is Lizzie." She smiled. Lizzie jumped on the bench to sit next to me.

"Hi Lizzie, where is your mommy or daddy?" I looked at her worried.

"Oh... my daddies are sitting over there with my brother," She pointed over to the two men at the park.

"Do they know where you are?" I asked wiping my face.

"Nuh uh," She shook her head.

"Well how about I take you back, and Lizzie, please don't ever run away from your daddies. They might get scared," I took her hand and I walked her over to her dads.

"Excuse me are you Lizzie's fathers?" I tapped on one's shoulder. He turned to me.

"Oh, yes, I am, my name is Joe and that's my husband Alex. Did Lizzie run off?" Joe asked scared and worried.

"Nice to meet you Joe, I am (Y/N), Lizzie must be a big fan to recognize me." I laughed.

"Lizzie is a very big fan. She loves to watch your videos sometimes Alex and I watch them together," He laughed picking up Lizzie.

"Well, I told her to not run off from her daddies or they'd get scared," I said.

"Thank you (Y/N)," He said shaking my hand.

I waved and walked away. I left the park and started to walk home. Tears started to stain my face once I got home. I left a spare key under my mat. I locked the door and stared out at my empty house. Living alone can be the worst at times. The air so still, everything dark. It seemed lifeless, void of any love or light. Just like me. I stumbled my way to my room, my head still flooded with emotion. I flicked the light switch on to see Ross' hoodie laying on my bed. 

I picked it up and cried even harder. Ross was everywhere I looked. In my room, my kitchen, my car, the place I worked. Ross had been apart of so much of my life in such a short amount of time. I reluctantly sat the hoodie down, apart of me attached to it. No not it, to him. I felt my chest get tight... I couldn't stand to be in here, I needed to go somewhere. Anywhere at this point. I walked out of my house ignoring the darkness that shrouded the world. I just needed to escape... find a place that didn't remind me of him. A place where I could feel numb in peace. 

I wasn't paying attention as I crossed the street and once I saw the car it was too late.

The only thing I remember was the sound of sirens and the fading of the light, and the sticky feeling under my head. As my vision began to fade I wanted to feel the embrace of death.
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[EDITED]