I'm Not One of Them

It Was the Night of the Party...

Cameron’s POV

My heart dropped down to my stomach and I swear I felt it’s beating stop for a moment. I never thought she’d find out this way. She wasn’t supposed to, not like this anyway.

I looked into her now darkened navy blues and all I saw was hatred and disappointment. I could have been okay with her being angry with me, but disappointed? That broke my heart to pieces. Never in my life did I ever think I would disappoint someone, let alone the girl I was in love with.

I dropped my head in shame and sighed, “Wren, I can explain just please let me, okay?” I asked, hope suddenly taking over my voice.

I moved my hand to take hold of hers but felt her move away from me in disgust. I felt my throat close up as tears swelled up my eyes. She moved away from me.

She hated me and it was my entire fault. I saw her look at me in anticipation of my explanation but I couldn’t speak. No words would come out.

I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, wiping my eyes in the mean time. I turned to John and noticed he had stuffed his face with the eggs on his plate to make this situation a little less awkward for him. On any other day I would have laughed at that, but to be quite honest I wasn’t really in the mood to make a joke out of anything.

Turning my head back towards the broken girl standing in front of me, with barely any strength left in her, I began to explain to her what had happened.

“It was the night of the party, Wree. The one the guy had invited us to at the diner?” I started, hoping she’d follow along with me, even though it had been unwillingly. I let out a loud breath as I saw her tear her gaze away from mine.

“As I was saying, it was the night of the party and you went to go get us some drinks. I decided to walk around the guy’s house and see what others had been up to. There was this girl. The one that…” I stopped myself from saying who she was because that was the reason Wren got hurt in the first place. Why I never forgave myself for letting that happen to her.

“The blonde one at the diner?” I heard Wree choke out in barely a whisper.

My breathing hitched as I heard those words slip out of her beautiful lips. She looked up at me, tears filling the rims of her eyes and gave me a weak smile. A smile that said, “I get it, and you chose her over me”. The smile that said, “I’m not good enough for you anyway”.

She rubbed her eyes in exhaustion and wiped her pale tearstained cheeks.

I opened my mouth to continue the story but I was interrupted by the angelic voice I had been in love with for a while now,

“I need to go.”

“You need to go?” I choked out, “Where are you going? You can’t leave, Wree, I won’t let you. I won’t let you leave me,” the last bit was said mainly to myself than to her.

Just as I was about to bring my head up to look into her mesmerizing eyes, I heard the front door slam shut and it was then that I realized I lost the one thing that ever meant anything to me.

“Hey man, I’m sorry, I know that what happened wasn’t your fault, she’ll come around,” John chimed in with a hopeful tone to his voice.

“I appreciate is, John, but now isn’t the time okay?” I said, my voice weak as I found my way up the stairs and to my bedroom.

She didn’t let me finish my story. If she had been patient she would have heard the whole truth. She would have understood a little more and I would have loved her better than before.

There was the blonde girl at the party. I finally caught her name that day. Lucy. We talked for a bit, mainly about her boyfriend, about how she had fallen in love for the first time. But she didn’t seem like she was in love.

The only reason I knew that was because of the way she held her posture and the way she stood so close to me, a little too close. She would giggle in a way that showed me she didn’t care for her relationship.

She kept brushing her hands in places that had only been reserved for one girl and one girl only. I tried shrugging her off but she wouldn’t give up or take no for an answer.

I remember I had asked her to get us some drinks, but I only did so to search out for Wren. However, with my lucky I didn’t end up finding her in time before a perky blonde planted herself in front of me with two red solo cups.

I chugged the drink knowing it was going to be one hell of a long night and I remembered seeing a strange look appear on Lucy’s face. It was a strange look, like she knew something that I didn’t. I didn’t bother with it, until she had brought us up to host’s room.

At that point I felt a little lightheaded and I tried shaking it away so that I could actually be aware of my surroundings. One thing led to another, and I had been taken control of. My mind hadn’t been in control of my body anymore. I recall Lucy pinning me to the queen sized mattress and ripping my belt open. She mumbled a few words that I didn’t quite catch and with that I had been taken advantage of.

It’s not as if I enjoyed it, because I didn’t. I had a good amount of control to realize I had a girlfriend and that I loved her, but didn’t have enough to push Lucy off of me.

And that is exactly what had happened that night, I tried not to think too much of it because I didn’t have any intention of telling Wree, let alone her finding out. I never wanted to hurt her.

But I did, and now the only thing I can do is give her time and hope we can fix whatever it is that is broken between us.