flawed perfection

16. calm chaos

you know how almost everyone thinks I'm in love with you? well, I guess this might explain it.

I always say you're my true love. even though it started as joke at first, I realised it's actually fitting. because true love isn't only for lovers but for friends too. and you are family to me. yes, you feel like home.

you know that one person who you can always rant to, be comfortable with, without feeling like you're being judged, can tell the most horrible stuff to, that you can't even say aloud to yourself? that person is you for me.

do you know why I love autumn?
because that's when the sunlight feels warm and doesn't hit us too hard or too less.
when the leaves make a mess and no one gets blamed for it because it's just natural.
when the reality has a slight twist of fantasy in it.
that's how it feels, talking to you.

there's a reason you're the one who can make me laugh when I'm crying and it's not because of how you are. but it's because of your affect on everything.
unconsciously, you exert a calm into the chaos, not diminishing it but controlling it, manoeuvring it according to your will.

you are like a memory, a thought.
you hit me hard yet I smile at the bittersweet remembrance. you seem familiar yet a stranger at the same time, perplexing my mind.
you can break through that freeze when everything goes still and the mind is blank.

yet, it has nothing to do with being in love. just true love. it's because the love is so pure and true, it feels like home in a distant land I've never been to.

in a world of extremes, between the dry desert of sand storms and the icy, glacial whirlpools, you are the calm chaos.
you are family.