All The Faith In The World

Chapter 22: Goodbye

Faith's P.O.V

I stare into my blank room one last time. The walls stripped of my posters, the closet bare and dry, the bed once covered in bright sheets, bare and uninviting. This whole week had been just awful. Connor and Noah had been fighting, and I can't understand why. Mom hasn't been home in weeks. I've hardly talked to anyone over anything. It's so bad, it hurts to even think about just how bad it has been.

"You ready, Faith?" Noah asks from the hallway, looking into my blank room.

And to think, the room we spent so much time in. I look at him and he looks the same way he did the night dad left. The same amount of sorrow in his eyes. The same amount of just pure sadness. I want so desperately to just run into his arms and tell him no. Tell him I want to stay with him and Connor forever. But, things are different now.

"Yes." I say, solemnly.

I choke down the tears in the back of my throat, this time I absolutely refuse to let them see me cry. Robert was sitting out in the living room on our old couch. Connor was out front, putting the last of my few, small boxes into his truck.

"Let's get a move on, darlin'" Robert says with a big grin on his face.

We make our way out front to where Connor was leaning against the car, texting on his phone. I put my small bag of left over items up in the front seat of Robert's red Passat. Robert get in the front and starts the engine. It sounds smooth and new, especially compared to Connor's. I shake the thought out of my head.

"Be sure to visit." Connor says, trying to hide his sadness. I nod my head as Robert starts driving away. I look back to them through the window. I feel the same was I did the night of the apartment. Looking back to my tear stained brother's faces. Seeing them standing there in their bloody clothes.

"Wait!" I say to Robert. He pulls the car over. "I didn't say goodbye." A look of relief passes over his face as he unlocks the door for me to get out. I jump out of the car and race down the hill towards our house.

"Wait! Connor! Noah! Don't go inside!" I scream. They come back outside.

"What's wrong?" Noah asks, looking almost hopeful.

"I didn't say good bye," I say, out of breath. Their faces fall, but they still smile. Noah pulls me into a hug, like it's the last time, and Connor joins us.

"You take care of yourself, Pebbles," Connor says. No one lets go for a while. And I'm glad they didn't, then they would've seen me crying. I'm surprised Noah didn't, considering my face was buried in his shirt which was probably getting wet.

"I'll see you guys soon, right?" I ask, still in the hug.

"As soon as possible," Noah says. There was the Noah I know.

"I'm really going to miss you," I say.

"Come back whenever you want, it's only an hour long drive," Connor adds. Finally, after a good 10 minutes, we release from the hug.

"I'll see you later. I love you," I say, wiping my eyes just to ensure they don't see. But, Noah does. I know he does.

"See you later. I love you too, Faith," Connor says after a minute.

"Bye, I love you too, Faith." Noah starts walking back in the house with Connor following behind. And I make my way back up the long, lonely hill.

Noah's P.O.V

I open the door to the silent house, careful not to close it for Connor. I saw she was wiping tears from her eyes. But, if this was what she wanted, why would she be so sad about it?

"I'll start making dinner. What you want, Noah?" Connor asks, shutting the door behind him.

"Besides everything to go back to normal, sandwiches."  I say as I slam my body into the old couch.

"Don't be like that," Connor says, pulling out a pan.

"Be like what, Connor? Be like any other family member would? Be depressed? Be worried? I'm so sorry, I'll try harder to keep my emotions a secret." Connor slams down the pan.

"For gods sake, Noah! Don't you think this is hard on me too? Don't you think that I'm trying my hardest to not run after that damn car right about now?" I've never made Connor this mad, only mom has.

"Well, you sure as hell didn't show it that first day! You told her 'don't let us hold you back'. While I sat there, silently praying that she would realize we didn't want her to go! But she didn't, and you know why? Because her big brother, the one she looks up to is telling her to. You basically told her to just get out, by the sounds of it!"

"I don't know about you, but I didn't want to be the one, when she looks back years later, that stopped her from living with her real dad and being happy for the remainder of high school and the last time that she will most likely see him!" A silence passed over the room. I listened to the whole house, no other noises being made except for an old clock we had in the living room. Ticking away the seconds of what seemed like forever. Connor sat on the chair and put his head in his hands.

"Look," he said, "I'm sorry for yelling. And yes, I want her back just as much as you do. But, if she wanted to stay with us, don't you think she would've said something or done something before she left?"

"She was crying, if that counts. And if she were truly excited about going, wouldn't she be smiling?"

"That's not a known fact though. She might have been crying out of pain or sadness or something. That's not enough.

"As hard as it is for me to say this, maybe we just have to wait. Just wait and see what happens in the next couple of weeks. Okay, buddy?" I'm not okay with it, even so, we can't do anything.

"Okay. We'll wait." Connor stood up off the chair.

"White or wheat on your sandwich?"