Trip To Oblivion (Jaeson/Markson story AU)

Chapter 6

''You've been hanging out with that Jaebum guy a lot lately.''Jinyoung points out when him and Jackson are sitting on Jackson's balcony,looking at the busy street ahead of them.It's almost the end of June and even though the sun is setting down behind the tall skyscrapers,the stuffy heat is still present in the air surrounding them.Ocassionaly,there is a gust of wind that dries sweat on their skin.

Jackson glances at his friend with the corner of his eye,bringing the beer bottle (his second one) to his lips.He,of course,doesn't miss Jinyoung's wary gaze directed at the drink in his hand,but is simply so used to it that he barely pays any attention anymore.

''And if I do? I don't see any of that being your concern.''Jackson's voice is normal,not even raised slightly,and he takes a large gulp of the cold beer,feeling somewhat relaxed as it passes down his throat.Jinyoung's lip curls up slightly,but Jackson misses it,his gaze focused on the sky that is painted in a mixed tones of orange,purple and red.He gets lost in a beautiful scenery for a moment,almost forgetting about his firiend that is sitting opposite of him,now with a large grin plastered on his face.

''Why are you smilling like that?''Jackson asks,looking at him quizzically.

''No reason,''Jinyoung quickly coughs and covers his lips with the back of his hand,''It's nice that you,uh,found someone.''He says those words cautiously,measuring Jackson's reaction carefully with his eyes.

Jackson's lips form a tight line,his gaze adverting to the rim of the bottle,then to the sky that is becoming darker and darker by each passing second,and finally landing on the abandoned cigarrete in his ash trey.

''He's a collegue,''He says in a bored tone,like he is already tired from explaining the same thing many times even though it's the first time they are having a conversation like this.(The first time they are having any kind of conversation in a long time) ''I'm helping him out with the job.He lacks a lot,you know that.''

Jinyoung can't help but smile again,rubbing his right arm with his left while casting a glance at the busy street,''He's a person,Jackson.Not me,not Youngjae,not your dad.''

Jackson wants to ask him what he means by that and that,yes,Jaebum is a person made out of blood and flesh but then Jinyoung gives him one of those sad looks full of compassion and Jackson feels that annoying lump in his throat forming again.

''He's not Mark.''Jinyoung says.

Jackson closes his eyes,because those words still have a frighteningly large impact on him.They scretch his skin uncomfortably,sink deep between his bones and he feels the pain physically shaking every cell in his body.He doesn't know why it still hurts so damn much,but he wants it to stop.

There are good mornings when he wakes up without a hangover and that horrible ache in his chest is somewhat barable so he foolishly thinks that,maybe,he'll be able to carry on with the day normally.

And then,there are the bad mornings when he wants nothing more than to stay in bed until the next sunrise and just stare at that one picture,despite his eyes stinging and pleading for some sleep.In those mornings,his best friend is always there for him.Not Jinyoung,not Youngjae,but a fresh,full bottle of an anonymous liquor that changes from time to time depending on his mood,and a few packs of cigars that are enough to get him through the day.Because,in those mornings,it's always better to be drunk rather then sad.Even though there is a fine line between those two.

Jackson downs the rest of his drink in one go,takes the cigarette from behind his ear,lights it up,and exhales deeply into the night that has finally fallen over the city.Jinyoung watches him with caution,his eyes holding a certain amout of guilt.He mentally curses himself for saying such a thing when the wounds are obviously still fresh,maybe even reopened.

Jackson coughs,and the small puff of smoke escapes his mouth.His eyes are red.''I'm really tired.''

Jinyoung nods silently,and stands up from his chair.He's been friends with Jackson for a long time so he can clearly tell when he's unwanted.And rigfht now,he is very unwanted.Silently,he walks up to the balcony door,opens them and mumbles 'Goodnight,Jackson',his voice getting lost somewhere in the starless night.

-

-(''Who is that?''Jackson nods his head over his left shoulder and Jinyoung follows with his eyes.His furrowed brows soon relax and the corners of his mouth twitch in a small smile.

''Oh,you mean Mark,''He says that name full of pride like he knows something Jackson doesn't.And he probably does.''He moved here from Taiwan with his mom a few weeks ago.We have Art together.Pretty cute,right?''

Jackson rolles his eyes and peers at Jinyoung,''Aren't you straight?''

''Confused.''

Jackson only nods since he understands how that feels.He's been there once and it was hell.Good thing he's out of it now.

Jackson tries to examine the other male subtly over his can of soda as he takes a sip.He has slightly reddish hair,the roots brown,he is quite tall and lean.He isn't able to see his face perfectly but he notes that the boy has a nice jaw structure and full pink lips.He was quite attractive.To put it bluntly-every gay man's dream.

Jackson licks his lips subcounciously.

''Do you think he plays for the G-team?''Jackson squints and takes a sip from the can feeling the fizzines bite his tongue.Jinyoung lifts his head from the history textbook and raises an eyebrow.

''Dunno.He might,''He shrugs,flipping the page,''He has that kind of an ass made for worshiping.''Jackson sees Jinyoung stare dreamily into the other male's backside.He grins and shakes his head,utterly amused.

''Park,you're definitely gay.'')-