Not Another Summer Love Story

Chapter 20 - Not Goodbye

The sound of giggling pulled me from the restless sleep which felt like it had only lasted moments. It took me a while to realise it was Maisie's brothers down the hall from her bedroom making the noise. I didn't feel hungover. No, physically, I felt okay. Maybe a bit tired. It was my thoughts that were chaotic.

My mind was a tangle of memories from last night, bringing on horrible feelings of shame. What exactly was I ashamed of? It rotated. I was so ashamed of how I'd treated Alastair. I was ashamed of how I'd let Noah's drunken plea for his best friend cloud my judgement. Because even though what he said was logical, I'd jumped to the conclusion that I needed to tend to my relationship with Logan more than my friendship with Alastair.

And since when was I the kind of person who sacrificed friendships for romantic relationships?

What continued to bother me more than anything was the fact that Alastair had started all of this. It was Alastair who'd made the deal, Alastair who'd given me advice and tips to get on this level with Logan in the first place. I wonder if he'd know that he would create a monster.

Maisie was still sleeping next to me, tucked in the depths of her comforter. The rise and fall of her chest caused her to blow the blonde hair which had fallen onto her face back and forth. I wondered what had triggered her break down last night. I had tried to get some kind of sense from her on the way home, but she just kept muttering about never being number one.

I inhaled slowly, trying to absorb as much oxygen as I could in an attempt to clear my bloodstream of the haunting thoughts. I had work with Susan in only hours, and as much as I wanted to I couldn't turn over and sleep away the rest of the day.

I wrote a long note to Maisie, detailing how sorry I was and that I would be around after my shift with a large tub of her favourite flavoured ice-cream from work. I couldn't wake her, not when she had taken so long to fall asleep last night.

My house was empty. I used the key hidden behind the flower pot to let myself in and jumped in the shower straight away. I peeled off the stupid Australian-flag-printed bikini and threw it at the washing basket. Eating made me feel repulsed, so I did nothing to get ready but put on a sky-blue sundress and braid my hair out of my face.

I walked by the beach in the hopes that the salt air would make me alert, sticking to the winding footpath in an effort not to fill my shoes with sand. The sun was as bright as my dress and dotted with circling gulls. I wondered if the gorillas were surfing. I smiled at the term gorillas. It had been a while since I'd referred to them by their animistic nickname. They deserved it.

Susan was behind the ice-cream displays, a cheerful grin on her chubby face. Her cheeks were wide and flushed, her grey hair piled into a tall bun.

"Morning, Valerie. I'm thinking of giving you employee of the summer. You always take the shifts that nobody else will."

I smiled at her. It was true, nobody wanted to work after the celebrations of yesterday. I put on my apron and went to work on the usual activities. It kept my mind focused and away from the growing tangle in my head.

"Do you think you'll come home next summer?" Susan asked.

"Probably," I told her. "Someone's gotta do the dirty work down here."

She laughed, the sound of wind chimes on a playful breeze. "I hope so, Valerie. I'm going to miss you when you all go off to the city."

"I'm going to miss you too," I murmured. I still hadn't adjusted to the idea of leaving Sandy Cove. I still hadn't done anything towards my enrolment in Perth, let alone begun looking for accommodation there yet.