Chapter 25 - Moonlit Water

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"Valerie," he said, clearing his throat. His arms dropped by his sides, the pen in one hand and the note in the other.

"You're back," I said, almost accusingly. The pieces seemed to settle in my mind, and I was overcome with the idea that he'd gone to see Logan. "You told him, didn't you?"

"Told who?" His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me sceptically.

"Logan." My hands scrunched together. "He knows about the deal, Alastair."

"Oh." He looked regretful, but not exactly as pissed as I undoubtedly did. "That sucks."

"Funny how he found out about it the same day you show up back here," I told him. I didn't realise I was shaking all over, my mind spinning giddily. Alastair is back.

"Come on, you don't believe that, Val. Why would I tell him?"

I hesitated for a moment. He must have realised that there was definitely an explanation for his intention, if it was him. "You know why you'd tell him."

"You seriously think I'd do that?" He let out a huff. "You know I wouldn't."

"Have you told anyone?" I asked seriously, not acknowledging the fact that I was pencilling him out as a suspect for now. Right now I couldn't trust anyone.

"Nobody," he said. "Who have you told?"

"Maisie," I said curtly.

"Well there you go then," he said. He was clearly still annoyed at my accusation.

"Maisie wouldn't do that."

"But I would?"

"That's not what I meant."

He shrugged, placing his hands into the pockets of his pants.

"Look, Alastair," I said, swallowing down the growing feeling of weight that had been expanding from the base of my stomach. He really was right there, in front of me, and I felt like I hadn't seen him in years, like I'd been awaiting his return for longer than I could remember. I wasn't thinking reasonably at all, maybe it was because of the argument with Logan, but my head was muddled and my heart rate fast. "I need... I need to think this through. I just need time to clear my head, to think about-"

"That text," he interrupted. "You did want to see me, right?"

I nodded instantly. "Of course, that's not what I mean, I just-" I threw up my hands in frustration. "- I just need some time. Someone around me is feeding everything I freaking do to him, and whatever was going on between me and him... I don't think it's ever going to be repaired. I need to deal with it."

It wasn't that I was exactly heartbroken, that was a bit extreme. But I felt like I'd lost something much more tangible than feelings. If I could describe it, it felt like something had been ripped from me. I needed to mourn it.

"Look, Val, I hope it works out for the best," Alastair said, his jaw tense as he seemed to look anywhere but directly at me. "But I can't say I'm sorry."

"Is this where you say I told you so?" I asked half-jokingly.

"No, Valerie," he said seriously. "I just hope you don't take this as the end for you. Just, don't be so cynical."

"I think I've come further than that," I said quietly.

"I think you have too." He looked at the crumpled note in his hand. "I thought I'd let you know I stopped by. I guess I can just give this to you now."

"Thanks," I said as he passed me the paper. He was very careful not to make the gesture intimate, our fingers never touched.

"I'll see you around," he said.

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