The Heroes We Weren't

Chapter 12 - Butterflies

"What happened?" I asked.

I rushed through his living room to make my way to his kitchen. Table, counters, fridge, all gone. Even his filthy dishes and his photo albums were no longer around.

"Hyun-Soo, what happened?" I asked once more as I rushed to another door, revealing another emptied room.

Only a wide drawer (although emptied), a blanket, a broken remote control and a flowerpot were left in the living room. He stood up from the floor and walked slowly to his only piece of furniture. Placing the bottle of pills on top of the drawer, he came over to me.

"Nothing," he sighed, "nothing happened."

He placed his arm behind my back and followed me towards the hallway, wanting for me to leave. I turned around, slipped under his arm and walked back into the living room.

"Nothing?! I exclaimed. "Well it sure does look like nothing!" 'Nothing' was, after all, the definition of his belongings.

He sighed again, bent forward to place his hands on his knees and shook his head. Dizzy. He wobbled the slightest and had to move his foot not to stumble.

"How did your investigation go?" He slurred.

"What?"

"Your friend. Dead or alive?"

I said it - I would have to come to terms with it.

"Dead."

He slowly raised his head again to gaze at me before he stretched his back out. I strangely enough appreciated the lack of condolences. His eyes said it all, he was sorry for my loss but another glimpse of despair drowned out the rest.

He ran both hands through his hair and shook his head again, before he walked over to a window. He reminded me of the sleeping souls in the other world - aimlessly walking, always in despair or deep in thought.

"Hyun-Soo," I walked up to him to stand by his side, "tell me what happened."

We were both watching a meadow outside. And old rusty fence had tipped over, the grass hadn't been mowed for a long time. My arm pressed against his as he wobbled once more.

"Sam happened." He finally admitted.

I could see it now. Why he hadn't wanted to tell me. Tell me that this, in fact, was all my fault, for I was the one who had so carelessly given Sam his real address. And we both knew that Sam had never fit the category of 'those who follow the law'.

He didn't blame me, he didn't have to, for I did so quite well on my own. I turned around to get away from the window, to get away from the overgrown beauty outside, to bury myself in the shadows of the close to empty room.

I ran my hands over my arms, not to keep warm but to keep steady, not to keep the heat up but to keep the feelings intact. In place, where I wanted them, where I was in control.

"Don't worry about it." Hyun-Soo assured me with his lies.

My eyes focused at the bottle of pills, as everything else turned blurrier by the second.

"Hyun-Soo," I whispered, "do you feel that?"

"Hm?"

I turned the bottle around, read the label. Small letters swirled together like tiny ants in the flood of a mere raindrop. 'Sleeping pills', it read. Me dizzy from my own emotions, him from the mere wish of catching some sleep.

"The spin." I sighed. "The crack of our world, the sting of the truth."

"What truth?" I could hear his steps as he too, had left the window and the already darkening sky.