The Heroes We Weren't

Chapter 17 - Courage Or Cowardice

After the solacing silence of sleep, comes the cruel commotion of the world we call our own.

The repetitive beep of a nearby machine woke me, like an earsplitting alarm on an early Monday morning. As I blindly raised my hand it ached and pulsated from the needle that was piercing my skin.

I blinked slowly; the white ceiling reminded me of a fog. My arm tingled from the numbness as I moved my fingers over an oxygen mask; its plastic edges dug into my cheekbones as I moved it away from my nose to leave it hanging under my chin.

I soon enough regretted the wish to breathe the same air as others - the smell of hand sanitizer overwhelmed my newly awoken senses.

"Hi."

I turned my head to find the source of the voice. My neck ached from the simple movement but it didn't matter; nothing matter except from the fact that he was there. Seated right next to me, having awaited my return.

"Hi." I said, but words turned into a cough. There was an intense and unexpected burn down my throat.

I took control of the coughing as I grabbed my glasses from the bedside table. An IV stood next to me, its liquid calmly entering through the needle on my hand.

The sun shone through the curtains of a window behind him. Behind Hyun-Soo. The harsh reality of being ripped back into this world and its discomforts were eased by the image of his dark hair bathing in sunlight.

As he reached his hand forth to place it on my forehead the goosebumps traveled down my neck. It wasn't too bad, this world. The coughing came to a stop.

"I'm glad you're back." He said.

Smiled, rested my eyes at the watch on the wall. Eight. Morning in the world of the living. I pressed my lower arms against the mattress to push myself up but every so called muscle shook from the tension.

The man hurriedly stood up from his chair to place his arm behind my back, his hands on my shoulders, to help me into a seated position. The pillow rustled as he placed it between my back and the wall.

"I'm sorry." I was coughing again. "For involving you in such a dangerous plan."

He sat back down, placed his elbows on his knees, his hands in a prayer.

"You should know that I got there last minute." He mumbled, a glimpse of annoyance sought shelter behind his eyes. "And you should know that I wish to scold you."

His eyes pierced mine.

"I've been going over it in my head all night. Different ways to yell at you." He shook his head. "But you're awake now, and that's all that matters."

His shoulders were lowered, his head too. The dark circles under his eyes told that he surely hadn't caught any sleep.

"Hyun-Soo..." I had to ask the unavoidable. "Adam said..."

He raised his chin and gazed back at me. He wasn't pleased; he had come to terms with his worry but his anger still lingered behind his tired eyes. The girl he had just come to like had nearly killed herself.

Nearly killed herself by the use of his medication, none the less.

"Never mind." I shook my head. I couldn't blame him for stealing Adam's pill, couldn't even ask.

He let out a sigh, leant back in the chair and viewed me for a moment. He tapped his fingers against his leg.

"I did." He then said. "I did steal the pill."

I turned my head to face him and we viewed each other in silence. There was no way for me to scold him. No resentment left in me. The lies he had fed me the day before most likely had an explanation. After nearly parting with both him and the rest of this world, nothing as trivial as a lie that could have been our first fight really mattered anymore.