LA to The Bay

Chapter 17: San Diego to Phoenix

Tour bus, San Diego to Phoenix

I feel guilty for even having the thought, let alone for sharing it, but I'm almost glad to be leaving San Diego. I don't know why I'm guilty, since I've no loyalty to the place, but I feel bad for the city. It was nice and sunny and the people were all 'how are you?' smiles, but I'd just expected so much more; a hipster enclave of indie restaurants, inviting flavours and smells reminiscent of the Mediterranean, a lingering red balled and brazen Ibizan-esque sunset. But instead I just found a banal basin of blandness full of replica Spanish churches and its lacklustre persona is only amplified by its proximity to brash Tijuana. Not that solid San Diego can be held responsible for its rowdy neighbour, but still it means that I will never likely visit the place again, if only not to risk tripping back over that damned border.

Plus I've spent way too much of my time here thinking about the weirdness of Harry's pathetic love life and his fluctuating feelings for Marty, which let's remember has absolutely nothing to do with me. And so I'm relieved to see the gang of them all sitting together, as eager as ever, at the front of the bus, as we depart for Arizona, whilst I can escape their incessant flirtatious subtext and the exhaustion of being part of the scene by hiding once more in the hinterland of the middle rows, invisible and anonymous for the next seven hours. Except that I'm not totally alone, and an unspoken seating plan has clearly been established, since Duncan is sitting next to me again. I dare anyone to challenge his seat. Except Ana. I suspect he'd gladly have Ana and I sit next to each other with him squidged in between.

'Do you mind if I listen to my music?' I don't want to be rude but it's 6.30 am, a time at which the only person I am happy to talk to is Louis, albeit in my dreams (although damn it Harry keeps appearing lately, just as Louis is about to kiss me, which is just the most annoying thing, because even in my dreams Harry is still annoying).

Anyway, with my earphones in it means I can be silent and focus my thoughts back on to Louis without the interruption of Harry, since I am awake and therefore in control of the direction of my daydreams.

I'm quickly realising that sitting on this coach for hours on end is the only time that I actually get to daydream, what with relaxing being forbidden at all other times due to the fact that we are organised to be doing something during every waking hour, which is proving somewhat stressful to me since daydreaming happens to be one of my favourite pastimes.

What is it with people needing to be occupied by doing stuff all the time? It's like they're scared to sit down and just watch the world go by, because who knows, they might actually start thinking about stuff, about their lives and how they're not actually as fabulous as they pretend to be and that they are in fact just losers like the rest of us. That's why we've got to keep busy all the time. Got to keep busy, got to keep moving, cos if we don't keep moving then we all know what might happen...

Yet on the bus, well they're just gonna have to suck it up and live with themselves whilst looking out the window, although luckily for them Leah seems to have a never ending supply of dumbass movies on loop ready to ease the anxiety of their contemplation.

'Dude, where's my car!' I hear one of the fat Aussie guys shout.

'No way, I wanna watch America Pie.' His friend grabs him by the neck. 'I wanna watch Finch have sex with Stiflers mom!'

Eww, I have no idea who or what creatures they are talking about but it sounds almost as disgusting as them.

I turn up my music and close my eyes, still shuddering. As San Diego soon ends the landscape turns to boulders and a barren land; we are moving out of the city and into the wilderness of the North American continent and I close my eyes and drift.

'Niamh, you've got to wake up?' Duncan is shaking at my arm in an overexcited manner, like he's just seen the Grand Canyon for the first time, although I'm certain that that's tomorrow. I can't have slept through the night, can I?

'Are we at the Grand Canyon?' I sit up bolt right.

'No silly, we've only been driving for two hours. America is a big place, remember?'

'Then what's the problem?' I would think only the sight of one of the worlds natural wonders or an emergency would be cause for waking up someone who is sleeping so happily.

'It's intro time.' 

'What time?' I ask, gulping, trying to block out any thoughts of what this might be.

'It's time to introduce ourselves to everyone.' Why is he smiling?

'But everyone already knows who I am!' I made sure of that in Tijuana.

'Oh it's just a bit of fun.' To sadists maybe.

'So this is Niamh.' Duncan introduces me as the microphone reaches our row, 'I like to think she is our own little movie star.' What is he saying? 'Apparently she likes Italian things; well lucky for her I am half Italian.' He is grinning at me. God, when he asked me to say something interesting about myself what I actually meant was that I like getting smashed on red wine but I don't want to sound like I'm a total wino. Can't people read subtext? But now everyone is going to think that I'm on a desperate search for some slime balled hunk and Duncan is obviously only more than happy to audition for that role.

'Your turn Niamh; it's time to introduce me to everyone.' He thrusts the microphone into my hand.

'Erm.' My voice is trembling. Silence swells the coach as they await my punch line.

Think brain, think, it isn't that hard to speak, you've been doing it since you were one,

'Get a move on!' I hear a voice call from the back.

'Erm, this is Ducan, and.........and he's half Italian.' Because he didn't just say that already. I chuck the microphone onto the next person.

At the front of the bus I can see Harry laughing, like I just told the funniest one liner. The little git. I bet he thinks he is so cool what with the 'he likes to take long walks along the beach' line he came out with when introducing Louis. Since when does Louis like to take long walks anywhere?

I focus on looking out of the window again, determined not to let him see my embarrassment. In the distance I notice a small funnel of white air seemingly standing still in the middle of the clear blue horizon. A miniature tornado is crossing the field headed towards us. It's probably miles away but I wish nothing more than for it to hurry up and sweep me away like Dorothy. To carry me a long, long way from here.

Authors note: I'd love to know, if you got to travel across the USA where would be your 'must visit' place? I've never been to New York, so I guess that's got to be the top of my list, right?

PS - please don't forget to vote and comment. Love, Ally xx