LA to The Bay

Chapter 49: San Francisco (2)

Alcatraz Island

'Can you believe that Niamh had sex with Harry?'

'Can you believe that Niamh had sex with Harry in the woods?'

'It's always the quiet ones.'

The whispers swirl around me like a creeping tornado that I'm unable to escape, as I pretend to listen in to the headphones I'm wearing as part of our walking tour of Alcatraz.
What I still don't understand is how they even know this information, since it's obvious that Leah is the one who blabbed on us, but she only saw us kissing and that was on a different day. Maybe she's turned in to a full on stalker with nothing better to do than follow her guests in to the woods, or maybe it was Marty, and that's why she was crying so ridiculously yesterday? Whoever it is that's the mole it's making me nauseous to think that someone was watching us the whole time.

I glare at the girls who are whispering. What interest is it to them what I chose to do with my private life and it's hardly like I'm the first person in the world to have sex now is it? "But we just didn't expect it of you Niamh, that's all." I know that's what they'd come back with if I had the courage in me to confront them, like I've been on this secret pedestal all this time, and the fact that I've done this, challenged their preconceptions, why it's scared the crap out of them, because if little me, Naïve Niamh can do such a scandalous thing, who knows what other scary stuff is going on out there in the rest of the world.

I continue walking, determined to focus on understanding the history of this iconic landmark, and I have to laugh at the idea that we are in a prison; because that's exactly where I should be banished to, a prison for naughty girls who sinned before marriage, right? But just because everyone else happens to be having a meltdown I'm not about to let that force me in to hiding and miss out on the vacation I've already paid for. You see, and now this might surprise you given my general predisposition for self-punishing thoughts, but I've resolved not to be ashamed, I need to stand by my own actions or I'll just let them manipulate me for the rest of forever, and I'm fed up of other people telling me who I can and can't see, what I can and can't do. The only part I feel bad about is the way that Louis found out; we should have had the chance to tell him, and so whoever is the snitch clearly can't be so concerned for his feelings. But what does he actually expect, that he can just turf me out like a piece of moldy bread being thrown out to the ducks, but then have it be his right to sense check any of my prospective partners beforehand? Well I'm sorry that this one didn't work out for you Louis.

But the guilt is clearly getting to Harry, and for the first time this trip he's not here having chosen to remain at the hotel. I look at the rest of them, moping around like they just lost a limb, and I'm also far too aware of the sideways glances I keep receiving from the girls as they fawn around Louis, dishing out their sympathy with comforting strokes of his ego.

'Watch where you're going Niamh.' Juno spits as she bumps in to me, clearly deliberately, as we're boarding the ferry back to land. 'You need to be more careful.' She glares.

'Come on Niamh.' Ana, wraps her arm around my shoulder, leading me away. I smile at her gratefully, although I'm only too aware that this is the first time that even she has spoken to me since yesterday, and so despite her previous encouragement I'm clearly not escaping her judgement either.

'So do you want to come to lunch with me and Duncan?' Ana offers.

'Where is Duncan by the way?' I ignore her question having only now realised that he too is missing from the excursion.

'Oh he's gone to meet his friend, this guy who works for Apple; that's who we're going to lunch with. Apparently he's going to tell us all about this really cool new technology their developing.'

'I'm not sure, I think I'll pass.' The idea of spending the afternoon talking about computers sounds pretty boring to me, 'I'm pretty tired so could do to go back to the hotel for a lie down.'

***

'Niamh.' Harry grabs at my arm the second I walk through the hotel lobby.

'What the hell?' I grasp at my chest shocked at his sudden appearance, 'Have you been waiting here all this time?'

'I don't know what to do.' I can tell from the way he's running his hands through his hair even more than usual, and the dark circles which haunt his eyes, that he is panicking.

'Sit down.' I lead him to the sofa in the middle of the lobby. 'It's going to be okay.' It's ironic how easily our roles have reversed, how I'm now the assured one and he is crumbling.

'But I just can't forget the look on Louis's face, and it's me who did this to him.'

'We did this to him.' I speak confidently, 'Not that we've done anything wrong. He told me to get out there and enjoy myself, remember, so that's all that I was doing.' I smile at him encouragingly.

'Do you really think so, that we've not done anything wrong?' I look into his eyes and feel overwhelmed at the sight of him, this hunk of a man, the king of everything, staring at me and desperate for my reassurance.

'I do.' I reach out and wrap my arms around him, shocked at my compulsion to comfort him. As he hugs me back I close my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief that I didn't know I was holding, lapping up his scent and the warmth of his chest against mine. How can it be that in a few short days I've gone from hating him to now this, clinging on to him like a third limb?

'Great, so now you're together out in the open?' I open my eyes and see Louis towering over us, of course flanked by the three girls.

'Have some respect guys.' Marty speaks, before leading Louis away, her arm now around his shoulder, and I can't help but notice how Harry has just inched away from me.