LA to The Bay

Chapter 32: Las Vegas (3)

Fremont Street, Las Vegas

Somehow I made it out of the chapel and back on to the bus. Somehow I've now been deposited below the bedazzling sign of the "Golden Nugget", gateway to "Fremont Street" and its overzealous flashing lights which seem to be an unwelcome beacon above my mortified head, indicating to everyone that I, the current fool of the moment, have arrived. Not that they can miss me after the scene I just caused. A scene which led to me being quickly escorted from the venue, if only to avoid being punched by Lottie, by the ever caring Ana,

"I think we need to get you out of here," she had muttered, supporting at my elbow like she instinctively knew that I needed the physical assistance.

And I still do, and she is still holding on to me right now at our current location, at the bottom end of Las Vegas's oldest attraction. Not that anybody is actually interested in looking at a few flashing lights and listening to Leah give a history lesson when they've got me to gawk at instead.

'I can't believe she actually did that.' The words of my fellow travelers whisper around me like a swarm of wasps set loose on a stinging mission.

'Niamh, please say something.' Ana's words are concerned and I realise that I have yet to speak.

'Um....' My mind is blank through the trauma.

'You're just in shock.' She rubs my arm. 'Look, let's sit down and I'll go get you a drink.'

'I'm so embarrassed.' I speak suddenly, my words at last released like the first gasping breath of a newborn.

'It's okay, you were just looking out for your friend.'

I was just looking out for my friend. Ana's words repeat in my mind, but there's a ten second delay before I process what they mean. Yes, my friend, Lottie, that's right, I was looking out for her.

'You weren't to know it was a joke, they had me fooled too, but I'll tell you this, I lost all respect for Harry when I thought he was going to just marry her like that.'

'But what if he does really want to marry her?' I mumble, only too aware of how pathetic I sound right now.

'Oh don't be so silly, why would he want to waist himself so easily on someone as obnoxious as her, especially when he can have any girl he chooses.'

'But I saw them kissing, I think they really like each other.' My voice cracks at the memory.

'Kissing!' Ana's nose twitches in receipt of this unknown gossip. 'Then that's it, my opinion of him really is ruined.'

She glares over at the group of them who are all laughing as usual, no doubt re-running my little breakdown scene by awful scene.

'Is that why you reacted the way you did?' She suddenly announces in a light bulb moment, her head tilted to the side and questioning me intently.

'Is what why?'

'Because you like him. I knew it!'

'Like who?' She seriously cannot be suggesting what I think she is?

'Harry, you ding bat! I just knew it when I saw you two dancing together and the way he is always looking at you so dreamily.'

'Harry and I do not like each other. At all. I've never so much uttered a single pleasantry towards him!'

I'm astounded that she can actually think such a thing, that I would put myself out there and publically embarrass myself in such a hideous way, and all because of some secret harboring I might have after Harry. The girl is lovely but she is clearly also deluded.

'Whatever you say, but I can't wait to say "I told you so".' She really needs to stop smiling so much, like the event that just happened is a good thing instead of what it actually is; a trigger to send me right back to therapy.

'I thought you were getting me a drink?' I snap back at her smug face.

With Ana gone I study the length of Fremont Street, trying to absorb the scene that is going on around me. It's so intense that it is quite possibly the only force strong enough to distract me from the realities of my own trauma. Leah must have brought us here deliberately, as her way of being kind to me.

A lightshow zooms around the arched ceiling above us and there is fluorescent flashing to be seen from every angle of my eyes. Fortunately the show is also proving a distraction for everyone else too, and they seem to have moved on from staring at me to gaping upwards at the ceiling, regaling each other with the delights of having discovered a metre long cocktail and a few illuminations. They really are easily pleased.

'So let's go find that new club you were talking about.' I hear Juno say to an unidentified member of the gang, and she flicks her blonde hair to the side, as if to emphasize her point.

'Yeah, come on guys, let's get out of here, it's so lame here anyway.' Marty joins her friend by giving out another hair flicking order.

I turn away, unable to look or listen to what the contribution of the other three might be, but I just know that when I look again Louis, Harry and Lottie will be heading out the door with them. They're such sheep, incapable of an independent thought between them.

'I think I'm going to go.' I sigh to Ana when she eventually returns with my drink; a murky pink fluid which I have no desire to be touching anyway.

'But it's only 9pm and I just got you a cocktail. This thing just cost me twenty dollars.'

'I know, I'm sorry, but I need to get out of here, before I throw up or something. The lights are kind of getting to me.'

I stagger in to the street before she can stop me, the still hot air of the evening blasting me and reminding me that we are in the middle of the dessert in summer, and that I have no clue where I'm supposed to be heading. All I know is that I need to keep walking, if only to shake off this strange storm cloud of emotion I can feel brewing. A feeling of jealousy and resentment and which no matter how fast I try to walk I still can't shake off the prickling tears which are trying to catch up with me.