A Case Of The Heartbreaks

mч gσσdвчє

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ít'ѕ nσt thє gσσdвчє thαt hurtѕ вut thє flαѕhвαckѕ thαt fσllσw.
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i really don't understand, i thought i meant something to him.

if it was just me...if i was just simply fooled by his gaze...and he'd never acted or felt the way i did...

why did everyone think he liked me?

why did his friends keep talking about me,

why did they keep joking to me,
why did he get shy when he was around me?

i'm not sure about most of the things that happen to me, and i can't bring myself to believe that people are honest, at times, and i can't trust people, and most of the time it is not even an option in my head that someone i care for quite dearly would care for me too.

but i was sure that he cared, as much as i was sure of my own name. he looked at me in such a way...he made me feel special, different...and he always smiled when talking to me...i was sure he cared.
but i guess i was blind.

i guess my godmother and my closest friends and my normal friends were also blind.

i guess my sister was blind.

i guess he was a liar, and his friends were foolers, and even if it were not deliberately- i'd have to be an angel to say everything had happened by accident and were misunderstandings- they'd led me on, all of them.

but maybe really, i was the fool in everything?

maybe i just believed in something that wasn't there.

god, why did i have to be so stupid?

why did he have to make me believe he actually cared?

it just simply isn't fair.

i guess i should go back to the start...and tell things as they were, in my point of view, of course. maybe you'll say there was nothing in the way he looked at me, nothing at all, that he looked that way to everyone. but if he looked that way to everyone, everyone had to be in love with him, it was just that beautiful of a look.

so like all stories, i'll present you with a beginning.
but don't get your hopes up, because this intro, this beginning, is already the truth of an existent ending.
because where this story begins, is also where it ends.
in which i'm broken and have to look through my memories, at least if one more time, before i can completely say goodbye.

so hello, my dear readers, to my goodbye.