These Streaks of Blood

22

Daniel whistles as they stroll, a halfhearted attempt to break the awkward silence that has gradually spread over the pair of them the past few days.  

The whole first day after leaving Leewood behind, Natalee seemed to be in a good enough mood. She was sidetracked; maybe a little worried, but carried on conversation well enough, and laughed often.

Now, just a few days later, he doesn't think she's laughed since. The change has been obvious; her expressions have remained serious and solemn and her eyes are dark, mingled with anger and sorrow and plagued with memories that seem like they will never leave. The farther they get from Leewood, they worse it seems to get. She only speaks when he pushes her to, and even then, they're clipped, one-sentence, even one-word, answers.  

Dan suspects that everything is hitting her all at once. This Ryffin guy must have messed her up somehow, other than turning her into a monster. He knows she blames herself for Emily's death, and for Changing him. She must be internalizing all of that guilt, leaving it to churn into hatred and self-loathing. He doesn't know how to stop it from happening; he's tried, over and over again, telling her that it's okay, that he doesn't blame her for what happened to him, but lately, she doesn't even seem to hear him.

He looks around. Since leaving their hometown, they'd wandered through some woods, along a wide stream, through some fields, and skirted around some other towns. He has no idea where they are currently. They've stayed off of roads and out of towns as much as possible, knowing that it's the best way to stay hidden. They're not sure how well the search is going, and Daniel doesn't want to take any risks.

After she had Changed him and they had embarked together, Daniel had felt as if Natalee was his instructor, of sorts. She talked to him openly, telling him everything she knew about vampires, everything she had experienced, everything she had gathered from things Ryffin had said. She seemed to at least have an idea of what she was doing, or at least what she definitely didn't want to do, and Daniel had followed her easily. She was the leader, the one in charge, and he was fine with that.

But things have changed over the past few days. Natalee is horribly withdrawn, for one. Daniel has had to take over the leadership role just to keep them moving. He hasn't slept in... well, he doesn't know how long it's been. He insists on watching over Natalee as she sleeps, and she doesn't even argue anymore, as if she doesn't realize what he's doing for her. She simply lays her head on the ground and drifts off in silence. He's suspicious that she doesn't actually sleep, that she just lays there for hours, but he never brings it up. He hopes that the rest will help her come back to herself, and anything is better than nothing.

Another problem: Dan is hungry. His stomach grumbles, heavily unsatisfied, and his throat is entirely parched. The feeling is awful, making it nearly impossible to even swallow. He knows he won't be able to keep going - won't be able to concentrate on anything but feeding - if he doesn't get something down soon.  

But how can he do that? Somehow, Natalee hasn't fed, either, and he suspects that - besides the little snack she took from him before she swiftly managed to stop herself - it's been longer since she's fed than he knows. Clearly she's against the idea, and though Dan definitely doesn't want to kill humans, he realizes that it's now the only way he can survive. Surely it's not too bad if he feeds on criminals, or even people who have already been given a death sentence, if he can find them. Surely that's at least... excusable?

Not knowing much about his new self, he wonders how naïve a thought that is.

The problem is, he's never fed before. He doesn't know if there's a specific way it needs to be done, if there's something he needs to watch for, maybe a particular area he's supposed to bite. The only way for him to make sure he's ready is to ask Natalee, and that's just something he doesn't want to do. He knows it's a touchy subject for her, considering that was the last argument she had with Ryffin, and he definitely doesn't want her bolting off on him. Not when she's so vulnerable like this. He feels responsible for her, or at least, for her safety. He cares about people in general, and Natalee is a friend. He doesn't want to hurt her.