Help...

I'm fine

The thing is trust is like an eraser. It gets smaller and smaller after every mistake. My first mistake was telling him how sick I was. I knew he'd use it against me one day, and he did.

"I can't believe your going to a game! You haven't been to one since you know-"  she said in shock
"Let's not talk about him right now. Okay?"
"Sooo..." Lex paused taking a deep breath."Are you going to tell me what happened earlier? I..I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but your my best friend and I care about you. I'm worried Soph, just let me in. Stop blocking me out. I'm not Brock." She stopped to wipe the tears streaming from her eyes. "I just don't want to lose you. I almost lost you once already. It was pretty shitty without you too. Don't make me suffer Sophia Marie. I love you." Lex was the only one that actually cared about me and my health. My mom knew I didn't eat a lot and did things in the past, but she doesn't know that I'm still sick. And Lex is right I need to get my shit together.
"Lex I'm fine it was just an anxiety attack thats all. And if I was sick I would tell you." I lied I couldn't tell her, she would tell my mom that I needed help again. This is just a battle I have to fight by myself."And thanks."
"For what?"
"For caring." She turned to look at me and then pulled me tight in her embrace.
"I'm always going to care."

~Anxiety sucks. I can't knock on the door or ask for napkins. I can't raise my hand without the fear of being wrong. I can't hangout with new people. I just can't live my life. It's like being in a cage thats unlocked, I can get out but I trapped myself, it's like wanting to have friends but can't hangout. It's like suffocating but your still breathing, it's no way to live, it's a way to die.~

Just walking in to the gates to the stadium made me nervous. I don't know why, I go to school with these people everyday. We find seats close to the field. I don't hate football really, I just don't like sitting through it. It takes forever and I scream at the players sometimes. It stresses me out.
I immediately see Brock, he's running down the field. He looks over in my direction. I turn away really fast, so he couldn't notice me. Just my luck he did.
"SMILES." He screamed
"OH MY GOD. WHAT IS HE DOING." All eyes were staring in this direction. Lex's eyes popped out of her head.
When Brock and I first became friends he said he kept forgetting my name so he called me SMILES even though he did know my name. He called me SMILES not because I always smiled but because I didn't smile.
"Hey you made it! Um see you at half time?"
"Y-yeah." I stuttered.
"Great." He smiled and ran back to warm up.
"WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THAT YOU AND BROCK WERE TALKING AGAIN???" I could tell lex was pissed due to the look on her face.
"We're not." My face turning completely red.
"Look at that fuckboy." She pointed
I turned to look he was making out with Samantha Jones, captain of the cheerleading squad. I picked up my purse and ran to the bathroom. Lex stumbling behind me.