OOC: Harry Potter And The Terrible "Book"

Your Mom.

The Servant of Lord Voldemort

Hermione screamed. Black jumped up, startled. Harry leapt from his spot as if he had been poked in the side. (We've all had that happen to us. Painful stuff, my friend, especially if they do it real hard.)

"Guess who, biches!?" Snape said as he threw Harry's invisibility cloak to the side while keeping his wand pointed at Lupin."Thanks for leaving that cloak behind for me in the field, Potter. Otherwise, I couldn't have gotten in here without you seeing me.", with that said, everyone except Snape glared at Harry.

'Well, I sure screwd that one up, didn't I?', he thought to himself.

"You're probably wondering how I knew you losers were here, so I'll spare your delicate minds the curiosity. I won't make the answer to long, though. Just enough for you idiots to process. You see, I was just in your office, Lupin."

"Oh shoot.", Lupin said.

"Yeah, and you kinda left a particular map on a particular desk when I came to give you a particular potion."

"Dude, don't-"

"I have told Dumbledore over and over again that you were helping him into the castle, but he never believed me. But now," Snapes face grew smug and triumphant ", I got ya bich."

"Now listen here my Snapey friend,"Lupin said urgently, "Are you seriously gonna put me-"

"And me.", Black added.

"-Us into jail just because of a stupid prank?",he asked.

"That prank nearly killed me.", Snape hissed at him.

"Still that shouldn't be a reason why you are doing this, O great potioneer."

BANG. Ropes shot straight out of Snape's wand and wrapped around Lupin's mouth, wrists and ankles, making him fall to the floor. Black started toward him only to have Snape's wand pointed at him.

"Make one more move, Black.", he said just loud enough for Harry to hear."Give me a reason and I swear I'll do it. The dementors will have nothing to take to Azkaban when I'm through with you."

"You want a reason? Well, I got one....", a smile started to grow on Black's face."...your mom."

"Awe hail naw, I ain't taking' that!" Professor Snape raised his wand, only to be stopped by Hermione.

"No, wait! Shouldn't we just talk this out like civilized people? I'm pretty sure Black has a pretty good story, and if we decide to let him live, that's just less paperwork for you to do."

'Hermione,' Harry thought, 'why aren't you around when I get in trouble?'

"First of all, I love paperwork. Second, you're probably gonna get kicked out of this............."

"School." Said Black.

"Thank you. Yes. You're probably gonna get kicked out of this prison (can I get an amen?) if you don't shut your face. Thirdly, I shall Bich slap you if you don't." With that, she sat down.

'Never mind what I said.' Harry thought as Snape turned back to Black.

"Oh my God." Snape's eyes widened. "Are you crying?"

The man quickly rubbed his eyes and sniffed. "No." He said, his voice shaking. He covered his face in his arms. Harry took this as an opportunity and reached slowly Hermione's wand out of her back pocket.

'Wait, wtf?' She thought. She shot a dirty look at him. 'Harry, this is not the time! Ron's right there!'

"I have got to take a picture of this." Snape started to search for something in his pockets. Black looked at Harry urgently as Snape pulled out an iPhone(wtf?)and snapped (lol) a picture. Now.

"This is going on Instagram. I swear to God, Malfoy is gonna die."

"Hey... Hey.... Hey....Look." Harry said.

"The fu-"

"Expelliarmus!"

***
I'll try to update more. I want at least 5 chapters out.

Bless your face.