Last Kiss

Chapter 7

The next few weeks went by slower than ever. Things were tense every time I saw Ethan or Cooper. Ethan just shook his head, almost like he was disappointed. Cooper just pretended I wasn’t there, that killed me too. It is the beginning of February now- almost a month has gone by since Ethan left me. Instead of the hole in my heart getting smaller, as everyone says it will, it’s just getting bigger. Every lasting day is a stab to my heart; it’s a day without Ethan.

“Hey, Carson, can you come help me with dinner?” My mom calls from the kitchen and I come out of my trance. My eyes still blurry and my sweats from yesterday still on, I trudge into the kitchen. My mom looks at me worriedly but doesn’t say a word as she puts a plate of vegetables, a cutting board and our large, sharp knife in front of me. I pick up the knife, looking at my horrid reflection. My hair has been up since yesterday morning in the same bun, makeup is non-existent and my finger nails badly chipped. I rub my finger along the length of the blade thinking if stabbing this into myself would hurt as much as my heart. Probably.

“Oh, darn. I have no milk to mix into my sauce!” My mom cries, riffling through the refrigerator. “Would you mind getting me some?”

I wonder if Ethan’s sitting helping his mom make dinner. We always did that at his house, his family never went out. Maybe he’s with his sister. Or playing with his brothers. I’m desperate to see him tomorrow at school, maybe finally try to talk to him about the Cooper incident. Still, tomorrow is Monday, that means I have to actually put on real clothes and makeup. Maybe my mom will let me stay home.

“Carson?” My mother asks, and I look up at her again, her face blurry with my spaced out vision.

“Huh?” I ask, confused.

“Uh, never mind.” She scoffs, grabbing the car keys off the granite counter. “I’ll be back in a couple minutes.” She stomps down the hall and slams the door.

 I shrug, who cares if she’s mad? Everyone’s mad at me.

I remember when my mom and I had gotten into a big scruff one Wednesday night. It was about something stupid like my phone bill. It ended with me jumping in my car and racing to Ethan’s, cheeks puffing, eyes flaring.

“Woah.” Ethan commented when I knocked on his door harshly.

“Shut up,” I growled, walking through his door, pushing past him.

“Well hello to you too, princess,” he teased, steering me upstairs. I stopped short, craning my head into the Reid’s living room. Ethan’s mom Teresa was kneeling on the floor, laying rows and rows of pictures out before her, photo albums spewing from every angle.

“Hey Teresa,” I greeted into the room, eyeing all of the photos.

“Oh, hello Carson! How are you?” She asked nicely, staying put on the ground.

“I’ve been better,” I admitted, rolling my eyes. I spotted the picture that Teresa’s holding.

“Is that Ethan?” I asked, laughing, walking closer. Teresa stood up laughing and Ethan groaned.

“Yup! That was him at six, wasn’t he cute!” She giggled, handing me the photo and pointing at him. Ethan snatched it out of my hands, holding it up high over his head.

“Nope, you’re not seeing that, it’s way too embarrassing.” He insisted, almost looking scared.

“Ethan give it!” I squealed, trying to jump up to grab it back. He groaned and slumped into the couch, wordlessly handing over the 5 X 7 picture. I studied the frayed photograph, laughing out loud. “Oh my god,” I blurted, covering my mouth with my free hand. The picture was of Ethan standing in their short driveway, ready to go to school. He had on a Tonka truck hat and big, round sunglasses. In his hand he had a small backpack in his hands with Diego from Dora the Explorer on it. His small feet had on sandals and he wore a bright green shirt with matching green shorts. So adorable.