Someday

Chapter 8- Mila

     I rush home with tears in my eyes. I speed along and narrowly avoid accidents and running red lights. All I can see is Maddie turning away from me and shushing me. In my hard times, she leaves me. I realize she is going through a lot, but sisters before misters! Ugh.
     I feel the tears forming in my eyes and I pull into a random parking lot and cry. All the words I cannot say are let loose as I cry. I feel a bubble of hysteria inside of me and I can't suppress it. I switch on and off from body racking sobs and hysterical laughter.
     I remember reading papertowns and Margo saying "I think all the strings inside him broke." My strings are breaking. I'm being bullied at school. People keep calling me plastic, fake, fat, ugly, they tell me I get abortions, plastic surgery, I pay guys to go out with, me and worse.
     My vivid eat memory is walking down the hall with Dylan, almost in tears and I found dead roses in my locker and a note. 'Hey darling. I miss you. And by you, I mean your payment. Call me back. -206-569-5829
     When I call the person back, it is no one. It's something called the loser line. I would know, because my awkward and ready voicemail was played over the radio. And everyone just so happened to be listening when I called.
     My friends are pressuring me to change. They say I weigh to much, eat to much, and am too fat. The tears flow again as I think about my friends. Kayla, who is so curvy and and skinny, it's almost impossible. Her supermodel length golden mane was always dip dyed a perfect hue of varying colors.
     Amanda. The gorgeous and brilliant girl, the total package. She even plays softball. How do you even compete with that? Most of all, how did Dylan notice me.
     Dylan. My rock, my star, my love. Gorgeous brown hair and bright green eyes.  A beautiful build, kind and nurturing personality, and a star hockey player. What he lacks in brains, he makes up for in kindness. And his kisses. I feel vomit working its way up my throat. I force it down and gargle water to get the taste out of my mouth.
     Why am I doing this. I reduce my tears to sniffles and call Kayla. "Hey Kayla, are you free. I really need someone to talk to."
      "Mila. Pull it together. Big girls don't cry. I'm with Shane. Leave we're  having fun. Don't kill the vibe. Feel better Mils!" I shut my phone and sit. Might as well call Amanda. I have nothing left to lose.
     *hey you've reached the voicemail Amanda. If I don't pick up for you, I'm probably ignoring you because I always have my phone on me. Ta-ta dahlinks.
     Her voicemail that we set up together suddenly feels like a stab to the heart. I already have half of Maddie's number dialed when I remember she isn't talking to me. I hit call because she needs to know how sorry I am.
     *Hey, it's Maddie. Leave a message and your name if I don't really know you. Talk to you soon!*
"Hey Madds... It's Mila. I miss you. I know you probably won't listen to this voicemail, but if you do, please know I would never lie to you. Please call me back, I need to talk to you. Bye." I make a kissing sound before I hit end call. A cute little tradition we do whenever we end phone calls with each other. It is what we did with dad.
My text alert dings and my heart soars. Someone cares for me. Dylan! Then I read the message. *we need to talk babe. Nothing bad, I would never break up with you. Meet at my place😘*
     I put my phone down and take a deep breathe. I pull the small slip of paper out of my pocket with the beautiful script I worked so hard to perfect. You are beautiful. You are brilliant. You are loved. You are special. You are you. Don't let anyone change that.
     I whisper the words to myself. I grip my wrists tightly to check my pulse. Can't have two sisters in the hospital with no one to pay for it. Thinking of payment, my heart rate picks. How will we pay? Out stepmom doesn't work and doesn't like to pay for our things. I try to push it out of my head and start the car. As the radio kicks in, I realize my favorite song is on. The instrumental intro to Irresistible plays. The words speak to me deeply as I analyze them. This one might be a battle, might not turn out ok. I know this. I will be strong for me. For Maddie. For Dylan. For Amanda. For Kayla. I can do it. I love the way you hurt me. That's Maddie and Ashton. It sickens me at what Ashton did to Maddie.
     I told the nurse not to tell Madds, because it would hurt her. Between this and dad, it would be too much. I look up and see a pair of headlights coming.
I yell and try to swerve, but I scrape the side of the car. I immediately throw my hands up and cry. I can't do anything right, can I? The driver rushes out of the car. At least no one is seriously injured. Except my dignity.
"Hey. Are you okay? I'm so sorry I didn't see you there. Oh no, don't cry, it's my fault." He hesitates at my sobs and cries. I try to pull myself together and reduce the tears to shaky breaths.
"I'm f-fine. It was my fault, I was lost in thought I suppose. It's just been a bad day." I muster a small smile and he returns it."
"It's kind of hard to convince the police of that when you were just sitting in a parking space. You aren't moving. You're in park." He smiles and his eyes crinkle adorably. Just like Dylan. I giggle and look at him.
"I don't think we need to involve the law. My car still works. Maybe just exchange insurance and we'll call it fair?" The hint of doubt in my voice should have warned me something was wrong.
"Sure. That'd be great. I'm Jack. Jack Tadis. Here's my info. Name, cell number, social security, and insurance company and number." I grin at him.
     "I'll call you with my info. I've gotta go now. Talk to you later." I roll up my window and shift into drive. I giggle to myself  as I pull into Dylan's driveway. He was so cute and scared. I primp my hair and makeup in my hair. Need to look my best for the most important person to me right now.