Someday

Chapter 9- Maddie

     I wake up slowly. The same heartache strikes me back. Why? I have all I need. I have love. I have hope. I have a brain. I call the nurse again and get ready to fake cry. I make soundless tears and write the nurse a note. 'It still hurts so bad. Can I have more aderall? Please.' She touches her heart and smiles.
      "Well darlin, I really shouldn't. The pain should be gone. Where does it hurt?" This makes me mad. They have no idea what's wrong with me! I'm a walking experiment. I write frantically.
      'Everything hurts. I'm so tired, my throat hurts, and my tummy.' I add tummy so she will pity me. I can't take inexplicable heartache. I study the nurse while she contemplates my statement. She has long straight brown hair and striking emerald green eyes. Her lips are painted a soft red, and she has mascara, eyeliner, and nude eyeshadow. Her face doesn't look kind, but when she smiles, it is the picture of happiness. I wish I could see that smile now. It makes her supermodel gorgeous. What am I thinking!? I used to hate being judged by looks. Now I'm doing it to others.
     "Well Miss Maddie, I may be able to pull some strings. We'll see, alright? Do you need anything? Food, water, entertainment?" She giggles at the end, and then I realize. Ugh gross! I give her a small smile and begin to write. This is turning into a pain in the arse.
    'Call Ashton. Tell him to bring me a burrito with chicken, cheese, lettuce, black beans, sour cream, and guac from Moe's. Oh, and a hot fudge sundae from Malleys.' I smile sweetly at her. She giggles.
      "Hungry, aren't we? I'll call him in a few minutes. Make sure to drink water hun." She slips an aderall on my table and winks at me. She mouths 'feel better' to me. I grin. As I drift off into my painless world of dreams, I giggle. Easy peasy.
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Time lapse
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I wake up to the smell of food. Food! Finally. Hospital food is not cutting it. Dry meat, smelly vegetables, bitter fruit, and stale bread. Appetizing.
     I ready for my bag and he stops me. "Not without a kiss. I giggle and go to give him a peck, but he deepens it. We lay back on the bed, not breaking the kiss. Then I hear my heart monitor going up and I pull away. He frowns just as nurses rush into the room. They smile knowingly at us and I blush. Ashton grins back. He hands me my food and I grin.
     Mmmm... I love food. I look down and realize I ordered Mila's favorite. It's my meal, but her favorite restaurant. I long to have her arm around me. She mknows what happened to me. She would help me to know what to ask for. All of a sudden, Ashton leans in.
     "Mila. Please answer one question for me. Do you love me?" I quickly nod. There is no doubt in my mind. He smiles and looks relieved. "Then I'm going to admit to you what happened. I was high. Don't judge me. I only did that to calm my nerves. Being around someone so beautiful does that to you. And I um... I think you are my pills. They were in a mint box. There were three left, and when I checked it, it was empty. Did you eat mints?"
      'yeah. i think so. how could you? I'm the head of the anti drug-alcohol- smoking association. It's an imaginary club of course, but I'm so against all of that?' Tears stream from my eyes. He betrayed me. How could he? Aderall... 'Where did you get it.' I stare into his chocolate brown eyes. Those same eyes that burned with passion when we were together. Those eyes were no more. His eyes were glassy and filled with tears.
     He opens and closes his mouth multiple times 'Don't you dare lie to me Ashton. You owe me that much. Who. Was. It.' He looks at me. The puppy dog eyes. I don't know if it's the anger building up or the adrenaline coursing through my veins, but I stay strong.
     "Dylan." The sorrow in his eyes... He can't possibly be making this up... This can't possibly be true... I feel the pain meds kicking in and I fight the haze. "Shhh Madds. Get some rest. We'll talk later."
       I shake my head. I make a talking motion and write 'spill' on my board. He looks at me and sighs. He slips another pill in my mouth. I spit it out and he catches it. I hit my call button desperately before he pumps pain meds into me. I immediately know it's too high of a dose. I shake my head and thrash around, trying to tell him to stop.
     The fear in his eyes makes me feel horrible. He cries as he hits the button. He needs to stop. I'm crying from the fear. This is horribly dangerous. My monitor is going off. Beep... Beep... Beep... Beeeeepppp... I close my eyes. The last thing I see is him. I slip into the quiet oblivion and begin to hope those weren't my last words. He wasn't the last person I saw. It can't be. Please God, no.
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Ashton POV
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     I'm punching the button. I thought it only gave one dose. One was all it took to knock her out, but she was still fighting, I thought it wasn't working. I didn't notice the white liquid pumping into her veins. The beeping sound is getting more and more annoying. Beep... Beep... Beep... Beeeeepppp... I then realize it is Maddie's monitors going off. I gasp and run to the hallway in terror. The doctors are too focused to notice me.
     "Who is it?
     "Madeline Piko, Dr. Zales."
      "Thank you Phyllis. What drugs is she on? Get Mara in security to playback footage of this room. This overdose seems like either murder or suicide." The doctors conversation is so rushed. They are peering over Maddie's still body. She looks to be in a lot of pain. Then I begin to realize the severity of what they just said.
     Suicide. They think she did this to herself? That is so not Maddie. Doctors can be such idiots sometimes.
    Homicide. Oh my god, I could be charged with homicide. I could have killed Maddie. She is probably dead. I killed Maddie.
      Killed. It's a strange word. So much power, yet it is used so passingly. 'I'm gonna kill you.' 'You're killing me' 'I got killed on call of duty'. Never is it used with the connotation the doctors suggest. I actually killed something. No, not something. I killed a girl. A beautiful, smart, kind, and amazing girl. She had a life, a future, a plan. Had.