Eadlyn Selects

But a Dream

I approach Gunner and signal that I am ready for our date. He nods and sets down the spackle he was working with. Then he strips off his gloves, throws them down on a tarp, and runs a hand through his hair. There are several of our royal staff and two other Selection boys working near him. Before turning to join me, Gunner makes a hand gesture and says something I can't quite hear. He and the other guys around him laugh. It's the type of laughter that raises my feminine hackles. I get a bad feeling about Gunner's sense of humor.

I scan the room until I find Heath leaning against the wall near the doors. He has his massive arms crossed over his chest and a terrific frown on his face. Directed at me. Oops, he thought I was in meetings with my dad. Another fail. But I guess he found me.

I feign innocence and look over each of my shoulders, as if he must be staring down someone behind me. When no one is there, I put my palms up and make a face that I hope conveys a bit of apology and a bit of nonchalance. I will be queen after all, I must have free reign within my own castle. He'll just have to keep up with me.

Gunner joins me and seems enthusiastic about the pond date, but he also has bad news to share. Fox has pneumonia, and is in the infirmary since one hour ago. I pick a substitute. Julian. All I know about him is he is a mediocre hoola hooper.

Both boys take an elbow and we casually make our way through the castle's busy halls to the cool air of the gardens. Once we reach the outer woods that line the gardens, I show them the narrow path leading to the boathouse and small pond. It's a hidden treasure. Just inside the castle walls, it is a haven for nature lovers. Ahren was the one who spent the most time here, so I think of him when the clearing opens up to a breathtaking view of the placid water.

Heath and a healthy dozen guards follow us and disperse throughout the area to maintain our safety, even though we are securely inside the walls. One camera crew joins us. They set up discretely, abiding by my earlier request to be more unobtrusive. I don't need every conversation documented. Maybe a shot here and there to keep the collective curiosity brewing, but not word for word. I'm slowly trying to take my life back as my own but I know I'm fooling myself. My life is Illea's.

The mid afternoon sun is a nice caress on my skin and I lift my face to it, closing my eyes and thinking of Ahren. What is he doing right now? Is he happy he left?

The strong waft of fresh mud and pine infiltrates my senses. I scuff my boot through the thick bed of pine needles at my feet to make the scent even stronger. It's intoxicating in a new and intriguing way. Maybe I'm becoming more of a naturalist. Ahren would be thrilled.

When open my eyes, I stare at two eager boys, both handsome in their own way. Both ready to do their best to delight and impress me. The pressure is like a bad taste on my tongue.

Nevertheless, this is my duty.

"Who's first?" I ask, as a test. I want to see how they handle this.

"Go ahead," Julian gestures grandly, "I'm a sub anyway, so I defer."

"Thank you," I say earnestly to him. He winks.

Gunner puffs up and smiles at me like he just won a duel. His grin reveals a slightly crooked incisor and a deep solo dimple. His hair is a rust color and his freckles remind me of constellations. I wish I could stare at them and connect them into shape but I imagine I'd have to be a lot more familiar with him to make such a request.

He fumbles with the oars and then hops into the boat that has been set out for our use.

I look out over the calm water, entranced by how a slight breeze affects the surface like a ruffle. I wish I had my sketchbook. Kile would understand. The lines of nature are so asymmetrical, yet it's inspiring how function and beauty intertwine without human intervention. It makes me believe there is a plan to this world, a purpose beyond my understanding or control. I like that feeling. Somehow it dilutes the incredible sourness of my situation. You'd think a future queen would feel powerful but I don't. I feel boxed in.