For the Road (A Tyga Story)

Breach

Enjoy (:

-Musicislifee

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Time: 10:30 a.m.

Date: Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Location: Damien's place

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♚ H A T H O R ♚

My life has been extremely overwhelming these past two weeks. I've met two great men, almost slept with one while tempted by the other, and drunkenly found my cousin. This is all too much for me, and I feel as though when it comes to Michael and Chris, I feel like I let my guard down way too fast so now they think it's okay to do whatever they please. I can't let that happen though, I can't let them both get the best of me. I can't let anyone in until I talk to my mom; I need to talk to my family period. I haven't seen any of my family members for eight years, and I've just recently run into Trell. Even if I do have a conversation with my family, it won't change my perspective on men, it'll just change how I come at them. Meaning, I won't be so tough whenever a guy like Michael or Chris try and talk to me. There are just so many questions I have for my mother, and I don't even know if she'll even be sober when I go see her. I don't even know if she still lives in the same apartment. I don't even know if she's still with Ricardo and if she is, I have a few questions for his ass too. The main one being 'why me?'

I've had my phone off for four days now and I just know Michael and Chris are blowing up my phone. I mean I understand I sort of just disappeared, but I honestly don't think I owe them any kind of explanation it's not like I'm in a relationship with either of them anyway. For the past few days all I've been doing is going to work and coming home. Michael has shown up at my apartment once or twice, but I always pretend I'm not home. I know Chris is also feeling me, but when I look in his eyes I see what I see when I look at myself in the mirror, pain. It's like he's been hurt by someone he cares deeply about and he's probably telling himself that I'm the one for him and that I'll be able to fix him, but only the person he cares about can do that.

I haven't told Trell about what's been going on with me yet, but I am today. I'm hoping he supports me 100% because I really need it right now. I was also hoping he'd come with me, just in case Ricardo is there. I don't know if he's the same disgusting man he was when I was fifteen and I sure as hell don't want to find out. Right now I'm at Damien's house waiting for him to come back downstairs from putting Ivy to sleep. I'm going to ask for a week or two off because I really need this time to get myself together. I know Damien cares for me like I'm his own daughter, but I don't think he would agree with me going to see my mother. I have told him a few small things about my relationship with my mother, and he doesn't agree with her actions at all. I know he's just looking out for me, but I need this. I examined a picture of his wife and daughter, and they are both beautiful, I can only hope that after I talk to my mom, we have a bond like them.