Waiting for an answer.

Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

While I ran in the woods, I thought about James and what I needed to do now that he knew I knew. I needed to think about me and James and what the best was for the both of us. James needed to know that I couldn’t just stand there and watch anymore and act like nothing was wrong. As much as I hated to admit it but Jane was right; he took advantage of my guilt whether he knew he was doing it or not. I sighed and sat down on the ground and placed my paw over my head. My wolf howled in pain too and kept on howling until I felt tired and went back home.

When I was outside the pack house, I could see, from where I was standing, through the patio glass door that James was looking for me. He seemed worried so I mustered up all my courage and went inside to find that James was already on the couch with his head in his hands in pain. I shifted, not caring about my nude state, and sat on his lap, kissing all the pain away. I couldn’t bear to see him in pain. “Baby? James? What’s wrong? Are you okay?!” I asked, frantically, trying to take away the pain.

He looked up and I gasped in surprise seeing his red eyes and his tired and pained face. “I’m sorry...” he said before cupping both sides of my cheeks and kissing me hungrily. I was still shocked by the kiss. It was hungry, passionate but what shocked me the most was it was a loving kiss, like the ones he gave me before he became a total...jerk. It felt like an eternity since he kissed me like that and I wanted it to never end. I kissed him back with the same passion—the want and need to have my old James back shocked me. He pulled away not soon after and I whimpered for him to kiss me back like that. He groaned and kissed me again before pulling away, leaving the both of us breathless. “Katie...?”

“Mm?”

“Where were you? I was worried and scared to death thinking you left me...” he said, looking pained.

I shook my head furiously. “I couldn’t leave you for anything in the world, James. Never. I love you so much,” I said, honestly. James’s body language relaxed but I wasn’t done talking yet. “But, I don’t know what to do, James.”

He looked at me alarmed and tightened his hold on my body. “You just said—”

“I know what I said and I never said that I would or would not leave either,” I said, cutting him off. “I know you’re still hurting and you want to get rid of all the pain. I don’t understand and it hurts that you’d rather get rid of it by being with those girls instead of sharing them with me. James, I’m your mate! Don’t tell me I should be content with you returning to my side for every day after you’ve been with those girls because I can’t and it’s not selfish of me to think or feel that way.”

James didn’t loosen his grip on me but he did remove his shirt and handed it to me for use. I put in on and stared at his face which was now etched with lines of worry and regret and pain and not to mention, sadness. “Please don’t leave me, Katie. I’ll die without you...” he begged, desperately holding onto me.

I let out a shaky breath and lifted his head and our eyes met again. “I need to think about our situation. It’s hard to stay but it’s hard to leave too but I have to ask myself, what’s best for the both of us.”

“Katie. Please.” he said again, begging me with his eyes.

I choked on my own tears and shook my head. “Let me think. You brought this on yourself, James and you forgot that there are consequences you have to face. Even if we both may not like it.”

“Katie, please. I love you. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose someone I love, not again, not ever. Please, I swear I’ll change. I’ll stop. I need you, Katie. Don’t leave me.” The look on his face made it hard to leave and his hold on me was making it impossible to leave too. Just for tonight, I would stay in his arms. I would be that pathetic fool of a mate... just for tonight and only for him.

“I love you too, James but I’m not waiting for this man who’s holding me now. I’m waiting for my James. My mate. My love.” I whispered as we both cried together in each other’s arms.

Just for tonight...