strings | Grayson Dolan

twenty five

All the Time- Jeremih
The Morning- The Weeknd

lemme know if u want my spotify so u can listen to my playlists that i use when writing this:)

Grayson's POV

I shouldn't have looked over.

I should've kept my eyes closed.

I shouldn't have looked at her.

I should have made her look away.

I shouldn't have shot him in front of her.

but i had to and i know i had to.

And I also knew that I had to look at her even though I knew she would never look at me the same way ever again.

No matter what I do there will always be something different about the way she looks at me.

The first look she gave to me i noticed the little shift in her expression. The small crease in her forehead which indicated disgust. The way her eyes changed from utter faith to complete distrust. The slight downturn in her mouth which signals fear. That's it.

She is scared of me.

She will no longer feel safe in my presence no matter how close we get there will always be some sort of ill feeling toward me even if she doesn't notice, I know I will. The thing is I wont ever see her the same way either because the look that she just gave me is now permanently carved into my thoughts so whenever I think of her I will see the disgusted distrusting and fearful Samantha.

Samantha's POV

"It's not like that- he had to." Ethan tries to explain but my mind isn't working right at the moment. "You cant blame him."

"I cant blame him?!" I laugh with absolutely no humor. "I cant fucking blame him for taking a mans life?" I ask in disbelief. I force myself to keep my eyes on Ethan instead of out the window where the boy I was beginning to like shot a man with not an ounce of hesitation.

"He had to." Ethan repeats signing as if frustrated that I am not understanding his train of thought.

"I don't even know what the hell is going on and now this." I am bouncing my legs up and down from nervousness as i try to understand what is going on. Usually I would be crying in a situation like this but I honestly can not, this feels like a dream.

This is a dream, you are going to wake up in your car and everything is going to be okay. You never met Grayson. Grayson isn't real.

I try to force myself to believe the words that my subconscious is feeding me but for some reason I don't want to believe them. I dont want to believe that this is all a dream. The accusations hurt more than I would like to admit and the thought gives me a little ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I don't want this to be a dream because that would mean that I never met Grayson and that I have to go back to sleeping in my car and crying about my nonexistent family. Grayson was my escape for the time being and if this isn't real I am not sure I will be able to fully accept that. Even though all he has done was pile me with more problems; so far what we have gone through is better than the lonely, meaningless life I lived before him.

He gave my life a purpose. At first my purpose was to listen to him when he told me about himself at the little park where we had met. Then my purpose was to help heal him when he got injured. After that my purpose was to put my full and unconditional trust in him and have him carry my safety in his arms.

Now, thinking back to the life I that I had before him, I now realize that my life's purpose is to stay by his side even when I don't feel it to be the best choice. In the short years I have been on this planet I came to the conclusion that no one has only one purpose in life. You are going to have so many, and you have to decide which path you are going to take and where that path is going to lead you. You are not going to do it for anyone else but yourself.

I just witnessed a murder and I am talking about how the man who did the killing is the reason for my existence. It seems foolish due to the fact that we have only known of each other for less than 3 weeks but your life can change in a matter of seconds which is what happened to me when I first met Grayson. I haven't been or ever will be the same after that and I am somehow okay with that.

These realizations are pouring into my mind at an incredible speed and Ethan is staring at me like he is waiting for a response.

"What?" I ask shaking my head to remove me from my own little world.

"We're here." He says turning off the car.

I look outside and see a little 2 floor motel. Was I really thinking for that long? My thoughts disappear when I lock eyes with Grayson and my stomach clenches but butterflies erupt at the same time.

What is this boy doing to me?

im in studyhall and finished my hw rlly fast so i could whip up a chap srry ive been so busy :/

ill update tonight tomorrow and sunday for you all!!!!

ily

peace out bitchez🤑🤑🤑