All That Matters

Chapter 2

   I didn't get out of bed until my dad left for work, which was late afternoon. I couldn't sleep at all because of everything that had happened last night. I don't know what I would've done if Drew left this world.

I sat up in bed with my fingers wrapped around my cell phone.

All morning I've been wanting to call Drew. Usually he would call me first and tell me what's up, but he didn't and I was getting worried.

I dialed his number, my finger's were shaking frantically.

I held the phone up to my ear and waited as it rang.

"Hello?"

It was Drew.

"Hey, Drew." I said quietly.

"Hey." He replied.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, I guess."

"Can I come see you?"

There was a long pause.

"Can I?" I asked again.

"No." He answered flatly.

"Why?" I asked as my throat started to get tight and my fingers started to shake.

"I'm leaving." He said. "I'm going to live with my dad, my mom's idea."

I felt sick to my stomach. My mind started racing and I felt like I was going to pass out right there on my bed while I was on the phone with Drew.

"You're dad lives far." I said knowingly.

Another pause.

"I need a change in my life." Drew started. "I almost died last night, B. You don't understand how I feel right now."

"What do you mean?" I asked him. "I thought you were going to die and I was scared for you and now you're telling me that I don't understand how you feel? What is that supposed to mean Drew?"

"Look, I have to go. I'm not even supposed to be talking to you, B."

Tears strolled down my cheeks like a waterfall as I opened my mouth to speak.

"Why is everybody acting like this was all my fault?!" I asked loudly.

"This wasn't your fault, Brandi. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Everything happens for a reason. I can't...we're over."

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"I need to start my life over again." He explained. "I'm done with everything and everyone. I need to move on with my life and go back to school. When I move in with my dad, I'm not going to be the same Drew. I'm done with the drugs, the fighting, everything."

"Well, what does that have to do with us?" I asked him, my voice shaking uncontrollably. "We can still be together."

"No, we can't." He responded. "If I stay with you, it's only going to make it harder for me to forget everything that had happened. I'm leaving tomorrow so if you want to say goodbye than you better do it soon because after I leave, all of the connections that I have with the people here won't follow me to my dad's. I'm done, Brandi. You need to start your life over again too. I was a bad influence on you and I blame myself for letting you do half of the things you normally wouldn't do. I'm sorry."

There was a pause and than a click.

I thought about what he said, about moving on and starting over. 

This wasn't the Drew I knew.

The Drew I knew wouldn't have let that gang get away with it. Drew would've gotten revenge. Hearing Drew now, talking about starting his life over, made me scared. I was scared because I didn't know what "moving on" meant. I was scared because without Drew I had no one and I was nothing. I was lost without Drew. The thought of me being alone scared me. But physically having to go through loneliness scared me even more.