stuck inside ; phan [ completed ]

three

❝ in some other life

we are standing side by side 

and laughing that,

in some other life,

we are apart. ❞

╰☆╮

it had stopped snowing. in fact, there wasn't a speck of white to be seen on the ground. dan howell ran to his bedroom. there was hazy sunlight streaming in his windows instead of harsh, off-white light that reflected off of the snow. he was so giddy, it reminded him of little kids in movies. he frowned for a moment, wanting desperately to remember his younger days, but it seemed all he could remember was this house and the never ending snow - the never ending snow, which of course, had just ended.

dan skipped around his house, looking through every window at every angle; he wanted to inhale the sight of the sunrise, which he had read to be so beautiful. he could now verify that the sunrise was indeed one of the most beautiful things you could witness in your short life. dan hoped the sunshine would stay awhile; after finally witnessing it, he hoped it would never leave.

╰☆╮

phil lester sat in the room with dan,

eyes glazing over with fresh tears.

he had been crying; he always had been.

it had been so long since he saw dan's smiling face.

it had been so long since he heard dan's infectious laughter.

he just wanted his best friend back.

he wanted his boyfriend back.

he wanted his soul mate back.

he just wanted dan back.

╰☆╮

day after day, dan was happy to see the sun returned. every morning he would jump out of his bed and rush to his windows, overjoyed to see the light of day. but with the sun returning every morning, dan felt there was something missing. something brighter, something happier. something to make his life brighter and happier. with this sneaking suspicion came depression, and a feeling of emptiness and longing. he would sit for hours in that stupid red t-shirt and that dumb lion plushie from the box because for some reason the scent of the shirt and the feel of the plushie made him feel at ease. 

all the movies he watched now were sad and he had read the entire steven king box set at least seven times. the benefactor, or whoever (or whatever) truly provided him with the things he received, seemed to sense his emotional pain. the fridge was filled with ice cream, cake, mac and cheese and other comfort foods. all the new movies and books he got were sad and about love and dan didn't understand the love aspect as he wasn't even sure what he was feeling was loss of love because dan couldn't remember a thing other than what was here, in this lonely world. his entire existence was aching, and for what, he didn't know.

everything in that stupid box made him feel safe and protected. for about the millionth time, he reread the note in his hands. from the tone of the note, he felt as if he knew this phil character. he figured he might be quite fond of him in another life, but that was another life. in this life, he was confused and sad and just wanted someone to hold on to, particularly whoever phil was, because if he sent him this nice box he must be a truly lovely person.

dan fell asleep curled up in a huge fluffy blanket on the couch, which was quite unlike him. normally he would have been in bed hours before he had fallen asleep, but he was stuck awake, pondering laws of existence and other universes and the like. he didn't feel like getting up off the couch. he couldn't remember if he had even gotten up to eat that day, but he supposed it didn't matter at the moment, as he wasn't very hungry. he wasn't used to this, this feeling coma. he was so confused and he felt numb and lonely and sad and just overall exhausted. he wanted to know what he was feeling, he wanted to sleep off whatever was going on with him, although he knew that wasn't possible in his case; he would just wake up with the same soreness that he fell asleep to escape.

now, he couldn't even escape the dark feelings in his sleep. his dreams laughed at him, and tormented him. you're alone little boy, they whispered. you're all alone. not even phil can save you now. all dan wanted was for phil to save him, and he didn't even who the hell phil was. he just wanted someone to save him from the loneliness that he now felt. he wanted another box. he just wanted something. want, want, want, his dreams tsked. all you do is want. and dan was practically tugging his hair out of his scalp. he wanted it all to end, and he didn't care if it sounded greedy.

the last thing dan remembered hearing before his slumber became truly dreamless was please wake up soon. i don't know if i can go on without you.

╰☆╮

"we need a doctor!

maybe a nurse!

anyone, please!

help!"

"nurse, he's flatlining.

get us a defibrillator, quick!"

beep, beep, beep

"we've sustained him."

"oh thank god.."

(a/n)

word count ; 851

i hate myself for writing this but i love this prompt so