Awkward. ☹ SHAYLOR Dirty Content

Blog Fifteen

I invite Cameron over today because we've been growing distant, it's something I feel ashamed of. He says he has a lot to tell me and I'm prepared for everything.

Feel like he's going to nag at me for how the video leaked and I'm sure he's heard my plan on how I'll be doing more videos.

"So, let's start one step at a time. I love you Shawn, but I've finally moved on." He says gladly and I get all peppy that I start jumping on my bed. "Yay! Who is it Cam?"

"Uh... Haha, about that. Uh.. You see. Ever since you've left me I've been needing mental help. Nothing serious. I just needed someone talk to and they've helped me out a ton. It's uh, please don't tell anyone?" I nod, allowing him to go on. "It's Nash!"

I nearly choke and stop jumping on the bed. "Grier?! The councilor? Councilor Grier! Really? Are you fucking kidding me!" I say with a tone of irritation.

"What, you have no right to be mad or jealous. So stop, please Shawn." I sigh and give in. "It's not that. It's just that, he's been there to help me a lot too. He calls us best friends. Maybe I'm just a little uncomfortable to be sharing both of you. And besides! This is a teacher-student relationship!"

Cameron grabs a pillow and clutches it. "You know, that's not the worst I have to tell you today." I stare at him and hit him with one of my pillows. "What could be worse than you dating a staff member?!"

He stands up and locks the back door and my bathroom door and finally my main entrance door. "I took that video." I remain in silence, fearing to look at him. I loved him and he betrayed me.

"Cameron how could you?" I say, tears forming in my eyes. "I didn't mean it. I had only sent it to one person. Johnson! Who knew it would get around everywhere. I promise I didn't mean to." He goes toward me and tries to hug me but I push him away.

"Sure you didn't mean to but you still recorded it. And for what reason?" I ask him, feeling ashamed for even talking to Cameron.

"Well. I just wanted to know what it was like. I wanted to experience this. I guess not hands on but. I dunno. It hurt to watch but I was curious. You really can't hate me for this." Cameron defends himself.

I turn my back against him, "Can you please give me some space. I really can't deal with this. Sorry. You should go."

I pick up my phone and dial Taylor. "Want to come over. It's the first day or our winter break. I think you should."

"Why do you sound sad?" Taylor asks. "Forget it. I'm on my way now." I don't know if it's right for me to tell Taylor what had happened or if I should keep it low key. I think he would get upset at Cameron and they're the best of friends so I would rather not. But I mean, they did mess up their friendship already.

Taylor knocks on my back door and he's welcomed with a crying Shawn. His arms go over mine as he walks us backwards onto my bed. The blankets are thrown over us and he pulls me close. "What's wrong?"

"Everything. The video. I'm terrible. I'm a sex maniac suicidal kid!" I whine burying my head on his chest. "We don't have to do it if you don't want to. I promise. Forget the whole deal. People don't need to see more."

"Well. I actually like it..." I say quietly. I look around awkwardly so maybe he won't tease me or something. "Oh man. Okay babe, we shall do another one soon! I have this great role play skit that we-" I hush his mouth with my finger. "Shut up."

Taylor pulls me onto his lap, "Let's do something today. I was waiting for Christmas Eve but surely, we can hang out today and I'll throw you that surprise on that day of." I nod and get off. "I'm ready. Pretty much."