Falling for my boyfriend's best friend(Phil Lester/ Dan Howell Fan Fic)

Chapter 20

Dan's POV

Brightness burns my eyes. Beeping fills the room. I squint slightly to begin seeing a white room, with a tv hanging on the wall and a door next to it. I felt the bunch of machines hooked up to me with a water gun in my hand and a tube going around my ears and in my nose. I grunt slightly and turn my head to the chair beside me, the man with jet black hair slept. Phil slept in a chair, waiting for me? I asked myself. I try sitting up but, winced in pain over a massive headache. I hold my head as I slowly sit up, waking Phil slightly. Phil sits up and rubs the sleep out of his eyes, sliding his glasses onto his pale-skinned face.

"sorry mate if I woke you up." I say, sluggishly. Phil shook his head, trying to keep his bright blue eyes open.

"It's fine Dan. Honestly. I needed to get up anyways, Raven was gonna bring breakfast for you and me, in case you woke up." Phil said, yawning slightly. Phil dug out his phone out of his pocket and started texting, which my guess was Raven.

"Phil?" I asked.

"Yeah Dan?" Phil responded looking up from his phone slightly.

"Why are you here?" I didn't want to sound rude or anything but, he was mad at me and even hit me. Why would he visit me in a hospital when he could be at PJ's, being on the internet or something. Phil thought for a minute before speaking.

"I wanted to apologise for hitting you. I didn't mean it at all. You're my best friend. I just got mad because you slept with Raven when I wouldn't open up to her." Phil told me, looking at his phone on his lap. I was shocked. Phil wanted to apologize to me? I smiled a little at him.

"I forgive you." Those three words made Phil look up from his lap. Three little words changed our relationship from ex best friends to best friends once again. Three words meant a lot to Phil from what I could tell. 

"Well, someone finally woke up little sleepyhead." another voice came from the door. Raven.

"Want to be alone for a minute so you can make out?" Raven laughed a little. I turned my head away as Phil started to turn slightly red. Raven walked up to the bed and kissed my cheek, as she took a seat next to Phil. Raven started passing out breakfast fast food all around, as I rested my head onto the pillow behind me. "Dan, you hungry?" Raven asked. I shook my head and closed my eyes. Raven whispered something to Phil, as I opened my eyes again. Phil left the room and Raven moved closer to me. She reached towards my hand and slightly held onto it.

"Dan, something is going on in your head and I would like to know what it is." Raven said calmly. It would be too risky to say anything. I couldn't dare to hurt her any more than she already has been through. I knew her since I was little but, she never noticed me. I knew the things she went through but, I was trapped inside my mind to do something.

*flashback to Dan, aged 14*

Dan's POV (continued)

My family and I have just moved back to Manchester from Berkshire, the royal county. Mostly because my parents wanted my younger brother to have the childhood I had, but honestly, I never had a good childhood. I grew up watching Winnie the pooh so I never encountered negativity till preschool, but then everyone laughed because I was not the fighting sorts. I still struggle today with socializing and making friends but, I don't really have friends anyways. My friends preferred each other than me so I don't really have a friend that would hang out with me.

"Mum can I play outside with my friends?" My brother, Adrian asked my mum. He had his shoes on and holding the door open with some of his friends.

"Yes, but be in the house before dinner." Mum told him, from the kitchen. Adrian ran outside and closed the door behind him, while I sat on the couch watching endless commercials about toothpaste. "Dan, why don't you go outside and find some over your friends?" Mum asked me. I rolled my eyes.

"Because my friends would rather hang out with each other than me." I said, in an emotionless tone. I flipped through some more channels till my mum said something.

"Daniel, I know that you have at least one friend that will want to hang out with you." She told me. I turned off the tv and stood up, throwing the remote onto the couch.

"No I don't! They all act like my friends but, they think I'm just a weird kid that sounds like Winnie the pooh!" I shouted and started running down the stairs to the basement, where my room had been. I slammed my bedroom door and started scratching my arm to get stinging pains, but I needed something more. I looked at my desk and opened the door where my pencil sharpener was placed. I look at the blade. This will be the pain I have always desired. I thought to myself. I had never cut because I was too scared to but, I needed it. Scratching with my sharp nails wasn't enough. I opened my closet the get a small box of tools that my dad left down here and grabbed a screwdriver. Dan don't do this!

 Shut up brain! No one asked you!  I yelled at myself. I looked around to see if anyone heard me, thinking that I said it out loud. I unscrewed the small screw in the sharpener and slide the blade out of the holder.

Dan you will regret it! Stop it now! I shook the thoughts out of head and threw the sharpener holder onto the hardwood floor, breaking it open and spilling the pencil shavings inside. I lifted up my sleeve of my black sweater and closed my eyes. The first slice of my soon to be addiction began today.